wossname: (GNU Terry Pratchett)
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
March 2016 (Volume 19, Issue 3, Post 1)

WOSSNAME is a free publication offering news, reviews, and all the other stuff-that-fits pertaining to the works of Sir Terry Pratchett. Originally founded by the late, great Joe Schaumburger for members of the worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates, including the North American Discworld Society and other continental groups, Wossname is now for Discworld and Pratchett fans everywhere in Roundworld.






"It is hard to look at a future without Terry, his humour, wicked bubble-pricking comments, his amazing inventiveness, his style, the deftness of his puns, and the deep moral sense that pervaded all of the books, without being obtrusive. Time and again readers of his books have told me how their lives had been shaped by them. And every time I finished reading a new book, I did so with a sense of immense satisfaction at having read yet another work by a master, at the tremendous sense of superb craftsmanship he had brought to the book, this amazing skill that produced books that can be read again and again over the years without ever feeling a loss of admiration, and discovering some historical or literary reference or joke that had passed me by on earlier readings. AS Byatt said in her tribute that 'No writer in my lifetime has given me as much pleasure and happiness'. I wholeheartedly endorse that."

   – Colin Smythe, in his tribute in the Irish Times, 2015

"Anyone who has read one of Terry's novels will know how he could spin the most beautiful sentences and make his craft look effortless – it was what made him such a huge success. Now he was using that talent not for another piece of fiction, not for his own benefit at all, but to deal with a very real issue that we are all, at some point in our futures, going to have to face."

   – Rob Wilkins, in his introduction to the published transcript of Shaking Hands with Death



   Today marks the first anniversary of the day Sir Terry Pratchett died.

   Some months ago, I said in an editorial here that I refused to mourn his passing, preferring to only celebrate his life and work. That remains true to this day, but I have to admit that in an ideal world I would have wished for a different outcome. I would have wished, in an ideal world, that PCA had never taken my favourite author's brain in its horrible grip. I would have wished, in an ideal world, that he live to a grand old age, a productive old age, such as the ninety-three years achieved by PG Wodehouse, that luminous yet far lesser talent to whom Sir Terry's writing was often compared. I would rather he'd had the opportunity to lead us at a more relaxed pace through the social and technological changes of the Discworld, without the ever-growing spectre of memory and processing loss looming over his shoulder. In an ideal world, he would still be with us, still entertaining and educating us with the magical-in-all-ways worlds he created. But our world is not ideal, and that's not the way it happened.

   It is customary in many parts of our world to mark certain anniversaries with a minute or two of silence, in order to pay respects. For Terry Pratchett, I suggest we show our respect doing the opposite, in ways of which he would have heartily approved. Make two minutes, not of silence, but of joyful noise. Read a Tiffany Aching book aloud in your best Nac Mac Feegle accent. Torment your nearest and dearest with ridiculous pun(n)(e)s***. Consider the wisdom of Granny Weatherwax, Pastor Oats, Lord Vetinari, Solomon Cohen, or Mau of the Nation. Turn a workmate or neighbour on to the works of Pratchett. And most of all, remember that Terence David John Pratchett, like so many of his creations, left the world a better place than he found it.

– Annie Mac, Editor

*** e.g. "What do you call it when two Fools divorce but can't decide who gets the children? A custardy battle!"




...for a new video:

   "We are collecting fan tributes to create a video celebrating what Terry meant to his readers. If you’d like to be included, simply film a short clip of yourself (landscape) holding up, on a piece of plain paper, one or two words that sum up what Terry Pratchett and the Discworld means to you, whilst saying that word or phrase out loud. Send your clips in to discworld@penguinrandomhouse.co.uk by 18th March."



When: 15th - 19th March 2016
Venue: Dixon Studio, Palace Theatre, 430 London Road, Southend, Essex, SS0 9LA (phone 01702 351135)
Time: all evening shows 7.30pm. Matinees on Thursday 17th and Saturday 19th March 2.30pm
Tickets: £11.50 and £12.50. A £1.50 per ticket booking fee applies capped at six per order. To purchase online, go to http://bit.ly/1nxQ6p8 and click on the Buy button for your chosen date.



When: NOW through 19th March 2016 (daily performances from Wednesdays to Saturdays)
Venue: The Old Court Theatre, 233 Springfield Road, Chelmsford, Essex CM2 (phone 01245 606505)
Email boxoffice@chelmsfordbc.gov.uk
Website www.ctw.org.uk
Time: 7.45pm all shows
Tickets: £10.00 (£9.00 for over-60s, Under-16s or Students). A £1.50 fee is applicable per transaction, except for cash and debit card payments made in person and by telephone (01245 606505). To purchase tickets online, go to http://bit.ly/1XiRW9i and click the Buy Tickets button for your desired date.



When: Wed. 16th to Sat. 19th of March 2016
Venue: Witham Public Hall, Collingwood Road, Witham, Essex, CM8 2DY
Time: 7.45 pm all shows
Tickets: £10 advance, £12 on the door (for senior citizens and U16s, £8 in advance but £10 on the door; this discount is not available for the Friday and Saturday shows), available by phone (01621 892404), by emailing Contact@WithamDramatic.co.uk, or online at http://www.withamdramatic.co.uk/boxoffice.html



From the Western Gazette:

   "Wincanton residents are to be given the opportunity to name a new bridge in the town. The bridge will provide access to a new play area in Cale Park, as a project to regenerate the recreation ground moves forward with its first phase. So far some of the suggestions have been inspired by the town's literary connections and its voluntary organisations, with possible names such as the Terry Pratchett memorial bridge or the C.A.T.C.H bridge being put forward. Other monikers being touted include the Queen Elizabeth II bridge, the Gateway bridge or the Troll bridge... A public consultation will be held on Friday, April 8 at the David Sharp Centre to encourage residents to learn more about the plans for the park and to submit their name ideas for the bridge. The consultation will also ask people what they wish the next phase of development at the park to focus on. Anyone interested in joining the Friends of Cale Park group or submitting a suggested name for the new bridge should contact town council clerk Sam Atherton on 01963 31693 or wincantontownclerk@hotmail.co.uk."




   The shortlist of eight books for this year's Carnegie prize has now been announced, and The Shepherd's Crown is on it. This is an appropriate remembrance, but the book deserves to be there anyway for its brilliance.

   You can still apply for a ticket to attend the Terry Pratchett Memorial in April. Go to http://bit.ly/ticket-application any time until 14th March. "You may request a single ticket or a pair. Tickets will be chosen at random and successful applicants will be contacted as soon as possible after the ballot closes. Hope to see you there.

   See you later this month, with the regular March issue. And now and always, GNU Terry Pratchett!

– Annie Mac


The End. If you have any questions or requests, write: wossname-owner (at) pearwood (dot) info

Copyright (c) 2016 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
wossname: Clacks rendering of SPEAK HIS NAME to keep Pratchett on the Overhead (Default)
Oh, poot! Not ten hours after posting out the last March issue, I've received an email from the marvellous Pamela Munt of Unseen Theatre, Australia's premier Discworld plays company:

Earlybird tickets for "Small Gods" at the ridiculous price of only $12 each. (Only for bookings made by April 13)

To buy tickets, go to http://www.trybooking.com/129353

...and here is the text of Unseen's latest announcement about their next production, which opens in May:

Unseen Theatre Company presents

Sir Terry Pratchett's "Small Gods"

Adapted for the stage, and Directed by Pamela Munt

It's a God-eat-God world, which makes life a bit tricky when you are manifesting as a tortoise, because everyone knows that there's good eating on one of those things. Brutha, is a simple novice who only wants to tend his melon patch. Until one day he hears the voice of a god calling his name. A small god, to be sure, but bossy as hell.

In what has been described as one of the 20th century’s finest satires, "the gods are pompous, the worshippers cowed, and the priests violently closed-minded. Yet the tale is never heavy-handed, thanks to some deftly comical plot twists, as well as all the levity that comes from picturing an angry god trapped in the body of a tortoise." (Australian author Jack Heath)

The main target of Pratchett's perceptive, satirical wit in Small Gods is religion and intolerance. Funnily enough, according to his fan mail, both believers and non-believers have praised the book for supporting their position! Philosophical and theological arguments aside, it is still epic storytelling (with one foot of silliness stuck in the door), a comedic character piece, an awfully big adventure, and, as always, it examines the never ending conflict between good and evil. So you could say that it pretty much covers everything! (including the number 42).

This is also one of Terry's works that is most often accused of being literature. However Terry himself preferred to put his views in a simpler fashion:-

Take it from me, whenever you see a bunch of buggers puttering around talking about truth and beauty and the best way of attacking Ethics, you can bet your sandals it's all because dozens of other poor buggers are doing all the real work around the place.

Although this production was planned quite some time before Terry’s passing, some may see it as fate, others as simply co-incidence, that we decided on this particular one of his works that is concerned with theological and philosophical issues. Whatever your beliefs, we hope that it is a fitting tribute to him.

Small Gods has all the usual comedy, action, and drama that we have come to expect from one of the most insightful minds of our era. It will also make you think about...well...everything, long after you have left the theatre!

RIP Sir Terry. We hope you are giving our favourite character a good run for his money! We at Unseen Theatre Company will be sure to keep your work alive on stage.

WHERE: Bakehouse Theatre, 255 Angas Street, Adelaide
WHEN: Preview Fri. May 15. Opening Night Sat. May 16. Season continues Wed to Sat until May 30. All shows at 8pm.
TICKETS: Adults $20; Concession $18; TREv $16; Groups (10+) $16; Preview all tix $15; Companion Card accepted.
BOOKINGS: www.bakehousetheatre.com and at the door on the night (subject to availability)

Copyright © 2015 Unseen Theatre Company, All rights reserved.

To view this announcement on the web, go to http://bit.ly/1bIBCgy
wossname: Clacks rendering of SPEAK HIS NAME to keep Pratchett on the Overhead (Default)

Let us go then, you and I,
When the Rimfall is spread out against the sky
Like a victim on Quetzovercoatl's altar
Let us go, through certain dark Ankh-Morpork streets,
As Cumbling Michael bleats
Of restless nights in Elm Street's cheap bedsits
And Harga's restaurant with greasy chips
Streets that follow like a Fools' Guild argument
Of a humorous intent
To lead you to an overt wealth of... footnotes!
Oh, do not play Greek Chorus
Let us go and dance Dark Morris.

In the room the wizards come, unseen
Talking of thaumic octarine.

The Morpork smog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The river-fug that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes,
Licked its tongue into the corners of the Bucket,
Lingered upon the gargoyles guarding drains,
Let fall upon its back the black of lithe Assassins,
Slipped by the terrace, writhed round Sator Square,
And seeing that it was a soft Sektober night,
Curled once around the Tump, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be crime
Under Ankh-born fumes that slide down Easy Street,
Rubbing grey-black upon the window-panes; Disc-ing itself
There will be crime, and barely time
To prepare a voucher for the Thieves that you may meet;
There will be time to say the number Eight,
And time for all Devices wrought by dwarfs
That lift this brawling City toward its fate;
Time for Schleppel, time for Reg,
And time yet for an Igor's deft incisions,
And for a Sweeper's history revisions,
Before the taking of meat and two veg.

In the room the wizards come, unseen
Making a joke about the Dean.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, 'Do I dare? Will Vimes go spare?'
Time to turn back Time and deeds repair,
With P.L.T. making horrors of my hair—
[They will say: 'How she stoops, to wear the tin!']
My armoured breasts, my collar fastened firmly 'neath my chin,
My pedigree's the oddest, but blue-blooded via lupine kin—
[They will say: 'But she's a vegetarian!']
Do I dare
Disturb the multiverse?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which the Moon will soon reverse.

For I have known the grags already, known them all—
Have known the meetings, mineshafts, Ankhian ruins,
I have squandered all my gold in greasy spoons;
I know the old life's dying, like an axe's fall
Beneath the bustle under cellar rooms.
So should I mention Koom?

And I have known the toffs already, known them all—
The eyes that damn you with a far too inbred phrase,
And when I am relegated, tossed like Mr Pin,
When I am told 'No comment!' by Lord Rust,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all Spike's butt-ends from the Golem Trust?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the 'girls' already, known them all—
Arms of that painted Guild, pale, white and calm
(But in the lamplight, best of Mrs Palm's!)
Is it scumble from a dish
That makesh me shpeak like thish?
Arms that twine around a client, or cap a maiden's fall.
And should I rent a room?
How soon should I dig in?

. . . . .

Shall I say, I have lurked at dusk in Morpork's streets
And watched the Clacks that clatter from the roofs
Midst lonely geeks with code-books, changing shifts in towers? . . .

I should have been a cruel wild banshee's claws
Scuttling between the Trouserlegs of Time.

. . . . .

And 'til well past noon, Young Sam will sleep so peacefully!
Smooth is his breathing,
Asleep . . . tired . . . or merely teething
Safe in his bed, here beside you and me.
Should I, after teetotal libations,
Have the strength to foil yet more assassinations?
But though I have cursed and shouted, growled and coughed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] fetch ever higher prices
I am no genius — but I'm cool in crisis;
I have seen the sternest of my Watchmen flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Death of Rats go SNH, and snicker,
And in short, I was pissed off.

And would it have been worth it all, and sweet,
After millennium hand and shrimp for tea,
Among the Faculty, among some talk of Sourcery,
Would it have been worth while
To endure Ridcully's hassling with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe's rubber sheet
To roll it toward some thaumic insurrection,
To say: 'We are wizardry's future, come have fun
'Come HEX me up a treat, H.E.M. is neat!'
If one, scoffing a sausage inna bun,
Should say: 'That is not what I meant to eat.
'That is not real named meat.'

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the battles and the broadswords and the trampled thrones,
After the sagas, after the horse cheese, after the skirts I chased
from Rim to Hub—
And dine-chewers for my grub?—
It is 'barbarian' to say just what I mean!
But seen by a magic lantern through a silken Agatean screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, scuttling a Dark Lord or storming Io's gate
To turn larks into legends, should say:
'That's not a hero's fate,
'That's not a deathless hero's fate.'

No! I am not King Verence, nor was meant to be;
I'm just a tender Tomjon, one who'll do
To thrill the punters, steal a scene or two
Advise the prince; he jingles, but he's cool,
Deferential to the senior Ogg
Mildly thick, gracious, and fond of his wife;
Full of high purpose, but a bit agog;
At times, indeed, a cliche brought to life—
Almost a perfect Fool.

I grow old . . . I grow old . . .
I shall yet wear midnight when the nights are cold.

Shall I shout 'Io's not blind!'? Do I dare to speak of Klatch?
I shall wear black pointy headgear, and fly on brooms of thatch
I have heard the Beggars, canting to the Watch.

I do not think that they will beg from me.

We have seen young vampires gliding past the Moon
Combing the land for humans to attack
Venting their blood-lust stylishly in black.

We have lingered on the shambling Circumfence
By sea-trolls wreathed with foam against the sky
Till Great A'Tuin takes us, and we fly.

(by Weird Alice Lancrevic, with abject apologies to Thomas Stearns Eliot)

[Editor's note: this was originally published in an issue of Wossname several years ago. I can think of no better time to share it with you again.]
wossname: Clacks rendering of SPEAK HIS NAME to keep Pratchett on the Overhead (Default)
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
March 2015 (Volume 18, Issue 3, Post 1)

WOSSNAME is a free publication offering news, reviews, and all the other stuff-that-fits pertaining to the works and activities of Sir Terry Pratchett. Originally founded by the late, great Joe Schaumburger for members of the worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates, including the North American Discworld Society and other continental groups, Wossname is now for Discworld and Pratchett fans everywhere in Roundworld.


Dear Readers,

    The Author has left us. But the magic he brought to the world will never leave. Let us mourn his passing, but celebrate his life and works.

    Wossname will continue, as it has always been even more about the words of a master wordsmith than about the life of the wordsmith himself. There will be our own loving obituary to add to the vast outpouring of tributes to the man who brought satire and real wisdom to the fantasy genre, but for now, here is the official announcement as posted on PJSM Prints:

"It is with immeasurable sadness that we announce that author Sir Terry Pratchett has died at the age of 66.

"Larry Finlay, MD at Transworld Publishers:

"'I was deeply saddened to learn that Sir Terry Pratchett has died. The world has lost one of its brightest, sharpest minds. In over 70 books, Terry enriched the planet like few before him. As all who read him know, Discworld was his vehicle to satirize this world: he did so brilliantly, with great skill, enormous humour and constant invention. Terry faced his Alzheimer's disease (an 'embuggerance', as he called it) publicly and bravely. Over the last few years, it was his writing that sustained him. His legacy will endure for decades to come. My sympathies go out to Terry's wife Lyn, their daughter Rhianna, to his close friend Rob Wilkins, and to all closest to him.'

"Terry passed away in his home, with his cat sleeping on his bed surrounded by his family on 12th March 2015. Diagnosed with PCA1 in 2007, he battled the progressive disease with his trademark determination and creativity, and continued to write. He completed his last book, a new Discworld novel, in the summer of 2014, before succumbing to the final stages of the disease.

"We ask that the family are left undisturbed at this distressing time."

To read this message on the web, go to http://www.pjsmprints.com/

    I'm off to raise a glass of scumble to The Author. See you soon.

– Annie Mac, Editor


The End. If you have any questions or requests, write:
wossname-owner (at) pearwood (dot) info

Copyright (c) 2015 by Wossname for the Klatchian Foreign Legion
wossname: Clacks rendering of SPEAK HIS NAME to keep Pratchett on the Overhead (Default)
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
September 2014 (Volume 17, Issue 9, Post 2)

* * * STOP THE PRESSES * * *

After many years of receiving faithful (if not always competent) service from Yahoo, Wossname is moving to a new mailing list:

wossname at pearwood.info

Provided we manage to avoid any +++OUT OF CHEESE+++ errors on Hex over the next 24 hours, you will receive a welcome message from the new mailing list, which will include instructions for going onto "No Mail" or unsubscribing, followed shortly thereafter by the first genuine, honest-to-goodness new Wossname editorial from our new home. Wheee!

If you haven't received anything by then, please check your spam folder, or drop us a line at wossname-owner at pearwood.info

The historical archives of old WOSSNAME editions will remain open at

https://groups.yahoo.com/group/WOSSNAME/ https://groups.yahoo.com/group/WOSSNAME/

but no new editions will go there, apart from a monthly alert when the new edition comes out. Future newsletters instead will be found archived at two places:

http://wossname.dreamwidth.org/ http://wossname.dreamwidth.org/

http://www.pearwood.info/pipermail/wossname/ http://www.pearwood.info/pipermail/wossname/

-- Steven, assistant editor and trainee technomancer


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