WOSSNAME

Wossname
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
April 2022 (Volume 25, Issue 4, Post 1)

********************************************************************
WOSSNAME is a free publication offering news, reviews, and all the other stuff-that-fits pertaining to the works of Sir Terry Pratchett. Originally founded by the late, great Joe Schaumburger for members of the worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates, including the North American Discworld Society and other continental groups, Wossname is now for Discworld and Pratchett fans everywhere in Roundworld.
********************************************************************

Editor in Chief: Annie Mac
News Editor: Vera P
Newshounds: Mogg, Sir J of Croydon Below, the Shadow, Mss C, Alison not Aliss
Staff Writers: Evil Steven Dread, Mrs Wynn-Jones
Staff Technomancer: Jason Parlevliet
Book Reviews: Annie Mac, Drusilla D'Afanguin, Your Name Here
Bard in Residence: Weird Alice Lancrevic
Emergency Staff: Steven D'Aprano, Jason Parlevliet
World Membership Director: Steven D'Aprano (in his copious spare time)

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

INDEX:

01) QUOTES OF THE MONTH
02) EDITOR'S LETTER
03) ODDS AND SODS
04) CLOSE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

01) QUOTES OF THE MONTH

"Pratchett enjoyed writing, regarding its monetary rewards as "an unavoidable consequence" rather than the reason for writing."
– kudos to Wikipedia for reminding us what writing is *always* supposed to be about

"'Good and bad is tricky,' she said. 'I ain't too certain about where people stand. P'raps what matters is which way you face.'"
– the wisdom of Granny Weatherwax

"Stories don't care who takes part in them. All that matters is that the story gets told, that the story repeats. Or, if you prefer to think of it like this: stories are a parasitical life form, warping lives in the service only of the story itself."
– and our favourite storyteller knew it so well

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

02) LETTER FROM YOUR EDITOR

Dear Readers,

I'm going to get personal here.

Yes, the issue I was putting together for April was meant to celebrate the birth and life of the child who became Sir Terence David John Pratchett, and yes, this day – the 28th of April – is celebrated by fans around Roundworld as Terry Pratchett Day, but for me, every day is in a sense Terry Pratchett Day, I doubt a single day goes by in our household that doesn't contain at least one reference to a Pratchett quote, or to a Pratchett character, or to a piece of The Author's beautifully described "stealth philosophy". His works have brightened my life for over thirty-five years now and I don't see that ever changing. I continue – in private – to turn uninitiated friends and strangers on to the Pratchett oeuvre, and I don't see that changing either.

My ex (still a beloved friend), an astonishingly bright man who suffered from severe dyslexia, taught himself to read using my Discworld novels and acquired a lot of sociopolitical and cultural education in the process.

Several friends have read their children to sleep with Discworld books.

Several people of my acquaintance over the years have got married – or buried – to Pratchett quotes.

So yes, every day now is a GNU Terry Pratchett day for me.

I met a fascinating gaggle of mostly-Australian Discworld readers at the turn of the century when I opened my first-ever search engine page (Dogpile, as it happens), randomly typed in "Terry Pratchett Discworld", and was led immediately to the OZDW Discworld discussion mailing list. I joined the list out of curiosity and embarked on many years of fun discussions, a few of which were about Pratchett books (though these normally included an "On Topic Warning!" in their subject lines). One of the members of OZDW was a retired American publisher, Joe Schaumburger, who had started a Discworld newsletter/fanzine – "Wossname, newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion" – back in the days when such things were printed out and posted by land mail, before moving it to egroups and then to Yahoogroups; Joe, knowing me as a professional wordsmith, occasionally asked me to contribute reviews to Wossname. Then came the day of his first heart attack, at which point he asked me to take over as editor-publisher while he recovered... and eventually asked me if I would carry it on permanently. How could I refuse a nice, sick old man? So I did. And then fast-forward well over a decade and I was still doing it, with the assistance of assorted newsgatherers and tech people, out of respect for Joe's memory.

But that assortment of assistants has gradually fallen away over the years since Sir Pterry died, to the point where I'm doing most of the newsgathering and compositing myself. And given that I never sought to be involved running a fanzine in the first place, and given that my unhappiness with the way things have been heading since then in the official Pratchett-legacy mediaverse has made it ever more difficult for me to write enthusiastic reviews or get excited about merch, putting Wossname out month after month has become a burden I find too hard to continue bearing.

So I think it's time for me to take a break. Perhaps a very long one. Perhaps a permanent one. I've never been a "fan" in the usual 21st century sense, but I love the Pratchett oeuvre, admire the activism he undertook in his lifetime, and will re-read and cherish his books forever. I just won't be writing about them.

Thank you all, O Readers, for reading along, and thank you for the many letters of appreciation and support we've received over the years. If this does turn out to be the end of my own Wossname journey, and if anyone out there wants to take up the Wossname baton, you know where to find me...

– Annie Mac, Editor

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

03) ODDS AND SODS

3.1 AUDIOBOOK NEWS

https://twitter.com/PenguinUKBooks/status/1514891528807718917 (Andy Serkis, interviewed about his reading of the Small Gods audiobook)

...which apparently can be pre-ordered via this link: https://linktr.ee/Discworld

3.2 THE END OF UNSEEN THEATRE

A Fourecksian tradition is coming to an end. The Bakehouse, home of the marvellous Unseen Theatre's Discworld plays for years and years, has been captured by an entity more interested in darkening the world with inhuman brainwashing rather than brightening it with good theatre, and the space will no longer be available for any productions.

By Samela Harris for Indaily:

"The loss of Adelaide’s Bakehouse Theatre is like a death in the family. The grief is terrible. It’s a quaint old venue but it has played a profoundly relevant role in the cultural life and welfare of the city of Adelaide. It should have been saved but there was no one with the money or political oomph to do so... In 2006, the funding was cut. But the theatre went on. Pamela Munt had been looking for a place to put on shows with her daughter Melanie for their Unseen Theatre Company, which specialises in Terry Pratchett works. They were beginning to feel a bit disheartened. And then they arrived at the Bakehouse. When Green opened the foyer door, says Munt, they did not have to say a word. Mother and daughter just looked at each other and knew. This was the place they sought...”

https://indaily.co/354825

3.3 OF COURSE MEN CAN WRITE WOMEN, AND SIR PTERRY WAS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF HOW TO DO IT

A writer's view, from The Bookseller:

"There’s a lot of fear around just now, perhaps it’s genuine or maybe, dare I say, it’s cynically manufactured. There are writers taking to Twitter to protest the fact that they 'can’t' write certain characters anymore because they’ll be 'cancelled', they’re outraged that 'wokery' is curtailing their 'artistic vision' and… I’m going to end that sentence there because I’m running out of sarcastic quotation marks. Of course a writer can write another gender, and it’s a good thing too, because imagine what literary masterpieces we’d have been robbed of if everyone only wrote characters that matched their own. Imagine how much poorer we’d be if Robin Hobb hadn’t written Fitz, if Terry Pratchett hadn’t written Granny Weatherwax, If Ursula Le Guin hadn’t written Sparrowhawk, Neil Gaiman hadn’t written Coraline, Agatha Christie hadn’t written Poirot, authors writing characters of a different gender from them isn’t new and some of the greatest literary characters we have are a result of it. If women authors write lead characters who are both male or female, but men limit themselves to writing only male characters then what you’re left with is, once again, an uneven balance of male characters, and that’s a step in the wrong direction. You can write a different gender from your own, you just have to do it well..."

https://www.thebookseller.com/comment/why-men-canand-mustwrite-women

3.4 THE MERCH CORNER

* REMINDER: The Big Wee Alphabet Book!

Not just for children learning to read, but for anyone who loves the Nac Mac Feegle (and don't we all!), and it feels genuine, as if a still-living Terry Pratchett had a hand in it:

"A wonderfully witty ABC book from Terry Pratchett's pesky pictsies, the Nac Mac Feegle! Learn the alphabet the Feegle way from 'Ach' to 'Zzz' with the Wee Free Men and their Big Wee Alphabet Book – a Discworld book for Big Jobs and wee scunners alike! Join Rob Anybody and the Chalk Hill Clan from Terry Pratchett's Discworld books as they guide you through the alphabet the Feegle way! Expect stealin', fightin' and cries of CRIVENS! as Terry Pratchett's pesky pictsies explore their favourite words and sayings from A-Z! Lovingly produced by Ian Mitchell at the Discworld Emporium, with beautiful illustrations by David Wyatt. Created with love and respect for our friend Terry and his incredible creations, with thanks to the glorious powers that be at Dunmanifestin Ltd. Beautifully produced with quarter binding and high quality papers throughout. Exclusive to the Discworld Emporium!"

Each Big Wee Alphabet Book is priced at £14.99. For more info, and to order, go to: https://bit.ly/3iHvolI

3.5 THE LOVE SONG OF TDJ PRATCHETT

Because I've been posting Weird Alice's masterpiece tribute here every year as a memorial...

Let us go then, you and I,
When the Rimfall is spread out against the sky
Like a victim on Quetzovercoatl's altar
Let us go, through certain dark Ankh-Morpork streets,
As Cumbling Michael bleats
Of restless nights in Elm Street's cheap bedsits
And Harga's restaurant with greasy chips
Streets that follow like a Fools' Guild argument
Of a humorous intent
To lead you to an overt wealth of... footnotes!
Oh, do not play Greek Chorus
Let us go and dance Dark Morris.

In the room the wizards come, unseen
Talking of thaumic octarine.

The Morpork smog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The river-fug that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes,
Licked its tongue into the corners of the Bucket,
Lingered upon the gargoyles guarding drains,
Let fall upon its back the black of lithe Assassins,
Slipped by the terrace, writhed round Sator Square,
And seeing that it was a soft Sektober night,
Curled once around the Tump, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be crime
Under Ankh-born fumes that slide down Easy Street,
Rubbing grey-black upon the window-panes; Disc-ing itself
There will be crime, and barely time
To prepare a voucher for the Thieves that you may meet;
There will be time to say the number Eight,
And time for all Devices wrought by dwarfs
That lift this brawling City toward its fate;
Time for Schleppel, time for Reg,
And time yet for an Igor's deft incisions,
And for a Sweeper's history revisions,
Before the taking of meat and two veg.

In the room the wizards come, unseen
Making a joke about the Dean.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, 'Do I dare? Will Vimes go spare?'
Time to turn back Time and deeds repair,
With P.L.T. making horrors of my hair—
[They will say: 'How she stoops, to wear the tin!']
My armoured breasts, my collar fastened firmly 'neath my chin,
My pedigree's the oddest, but blue-blooded via lupine kin—
[They will say: 'But she's a vegetarian!']
Do I dare
Disturb the multiverse?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which the Moon will soon reverse.

For I have known the grags already, known them all—
Have known the meetings, mineshafts, Ankhian ruins,
I have squandered all my gold in greasy spoons;
I know the old life's dying, like an axe's fall
Beneath the bustle under cellar rooms.
So should I mention Koom?

And I have known the toffs already, known them all—
The eyes that damn you with a far too inbred phrase,
And when I am relegated, tossed like Mr Pin,
When I am told 'No comment!' by Lord Rust,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all Spike's butt-ends from the Golem Trust?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the 'girls' already, known them all—
Arms of that painted Guild, pale, white and calm
(But in the lamplight, best of Mrs Palm's!)
Is it scumble from a dish
That makesh me shpeak like thish?
Arms that twine around a client, or cap a maiden's fall.
And should I rent a room?
How soon should I dig in?

. . . . .

Shall I say, I have lurked at dusk in Morpork's streets
And watched the Clacks that clatter from the roofs
Midst lonely geeks with code-books, changing shifts in towers? . . .

I should have been a cruel wild banshee's claws
Scuttling between the Trouserlegs of Time.

. . . . .

And 'til well past noon, Young Sam will sleep so peacefully!
Smooth is his breathing,
Asleep . . . tired . . . or merely teething
Safe in his bed, here beside you and me.
Should I, after teetotal libations,
Have the strength to foil yet more assassinations?
But though I have cursed and shouted, growled and coughed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] fetch ever higher prices
I am no genius — but I'm cool in crisis;
I have seen the sternest of my Watchmen flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Death of Rats go SNH, and snicker,
And in short, I was pissed off.

And would it have been worth it all, and sweet,
After millennium hand and shrimp for tea,
Among the Faculty, among some talk of Sourcery,
Would it have been worth while
To endure Ridcully's hassling with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe's rubber sheet
To roll it toward some thaumic insurrection,
To say: 'We are wizardry's future, come have fun
'Come HEX me up a treat, H.E.M. is neat!'
If one, scoffing a sausage inna bun,
Should say: 'That is not what I meant to eat.
'That is not real named meat.'

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the battles and the broadswords and the trampled thrones,
After the sagas, after the horse cheese, after the skirts I chased
from Rim to Hub—
And dine-chewers for my grub?—
It is 'barbarian' to say just what I mean!
But seen by a magic lantern through a silken Agatean screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, scuttling a Dark Lord or storming Io's gate
To turn larks into legends, should say:
'That's not a hero's fate,
'That's not a deathless hero's fate.'

No! I am not King Verence, nor was meant to be;
I'm just a tender Tomjon, one who'll do
To thrill the punters, steal a scene or two
Advise the prince; he jingles, but he's cool,
Deferential to the senior Ogg
Mildly thick, gracious, and fond of his wife;
Full of high purpose, but a bit agog;
At times, indeed, a cliche brought to life—
Almost a perfect Fool.

I grow old . . . I grow old . . .
I shall yet wear midnight when the nights are cold.

Shall I shout 'Io's not blind!'? Do I dare to speak of Klatch?
I shall wear black pointy headgear, and fly on brooms of thatch
I have heard the Beggars, canting to the Watch.

I do not think that they will beg from me.

We have seen young vampires gliding past the Moon
Combing the land for humans to attack
Venting their blood-lust stylishly in black.

We have lingered on the shambling Circumfence
By sea-trolls wreathed with foam against the sky
Till Great A'Tuin takes us, and we fly.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

07) CLOSE

A few more things to remember,,,

Asteroid 127005 Pratchett was discovered 20 years ago this month.

There was a Pratchett chelonian: Psephophorus terrypratchetti, an extinct sea turtle – "the only Miocene dermochelyid turtle found in Europe. One species of Psephophorus could measure up to ten feet in length." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psephophorus

Snowgum Films made a very decent film adaptation of Troll Bridge, with contributions from The Author himself, and it's still available to watch for free on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7v_TdLviUE

...and finally, it wouldn't be a proper memorial without one of Sir Pterry's favourite apes in it! Ah Meng (1960– 2008) was a female Sumatran orangutan and tourism icon in Singapore. "She was smuggled from Indonesia and kept illegally as a domestic pet before being recovered by a veterinarian in 1971. She was then eleven years old and was given a home at the Singapore Zoo. Ah Meng was the head of her small clan, which lives in a large enclosure with about twenty other orangutans. She had five children, twelve grandchildren and five great-grandchildren. She belonged to the Sumatran orangutan species, a rarer breed of orangutan now critically endangered due to illegal logging and poaching." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ah_Meng

And that's it for April and for now. In the meantime, if you want to carry on reading about the minutiae of Discworld re-releases, Pratchett-based screen projects, fangroup meetings and conventions, remember that Discworld Monthly is still going.

GNU Sir Pterry forever, and mind how you go, all of you!

– Annie Mac

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The End. If you have any questions or requests, write: wossname-owner (at) pearwood (dot) info

Wossname
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
February 2022 (Volume 25, Issue 2, Post 1)

********************************************************************
WOSSNAME is a free publication offering news, reviews, and all the other stuff-that-fits pertaining to the works of Sir Terry Pratchett. Originally founded by the late, great Joe Schaumburger for members of the worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates, including the North American Discworld Society and other continental groups, Wossname is now for Discworld and Pratchett fans everywhere in Roundworld.
********************************************************************

01) LETTER FROM YOUR EDITOR

Apologies yet again, O Readers: February got away from me. But there's no way I could miss marking the anniversary of the day our favourite author left us forever.

...except he hasn't left, really, has he? Because his name continues to be spoken around Roundworld, and his vast body of work will always be there to be savoured by his original fans and by generations to come. So in his honour, here be some of your Editor's favourite quotes from all the Discworld novels and all the YA novels and various other pieces of Sir Pterry's oeuvre.

GNU Terry Pratchett. Forever.

And now, on with the quotes...

– Annie Mac, Editor

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

02) QUOTES OF THE MONTH

"It was octarine, the colour of magic. It was alive and glowing and vibrant and it was the undisputed pigment of the imagination, because wherever it appeared it was a sign that mere matter was a servant of the powers of the magical mind. It was enchantment itself. But Rincewind always thought it looked a sort of greenish-purple." (The Colour of Magic)

"It looked like the sort of book described in library catalogues as "slightly foxed", although it would be more honest to admit that it looked as though it had been badgered, wolved and possibly beared as well." (The Light Fantastic)

"'They say there's dwarf mines under the Ramtops,' she said inconsequentially. 'My, but them little buggers is in for a surprise.' (Equal Rites)

"When a man is tired of Ankh-Morpork, he is tired of ankle-deep slurry." (Mort)

"The subject of wizards and sex is a complicated one, but as has already been indicated it does, in essence, boil down to this: when it comes to wine, women and song, wizards are allowed to get drunk and croon as much as they like." (Sourcery)

"In fact, no gods anywhere play chess. They prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight to Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs." (Wyrd Sisters)

"It was a great comfort knowing that the gods were there. It was knowing they were here that was the terrible part." (Pyramids)

"The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned no later than the date last shown; and 3) Do not interfere with the nature of causality." (Guards! Guards!)

"Interestingly enough, the gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is important to shoot missionaries on sight." (Eric)

"If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter." (Moving Pictures)

"'All it's doing is moving around slowly and eating things,' said the Dean. 'Put a pointy hat on it and it'd be a faculty member,' said the Archchancellor." (Reaper Man)

"Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because – what with trolls and dwarfs and so on – speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green." (Witches Abroad)

"You know, I used to think I was stupid, and then I met philosophers." (Small Gods)

"It's not enough to be able to pick up a sword. You have to know which end to poke into the enemy." (Lords and Ladies)

"The Librarian of Unseen University had unilaterally decided to aid comprehension by producing an Orangutan/Human Dictionary. He'd been working on it for three months. It wasn't easy. He'd got as far as 'Oook'." (Men At Arms)

"The Patrician was a pragmatist. He never tried to fix things that worked. Things that didn't work, however, got broken." (Soul Music)

"Many things went on at Unseen University and, regrettably, teaching had to be one of them. The faculty had long ago confronted this fact and had perfected various devices for avoiding it. But this was perfectly all right because, to be fair, so had the students." (Interesting Times)

"Nanny had an unexpected gift for languages; she could be comprehensibly incompetent in a new one within an hour or two." (Maskerade)

"I, after hearing evidence from a number of experts, including Mrs Slipdry the midwife, certify that the balance of probability is that the bearer of this document, C. W. St John Nobbs, is a human being. Signed, Lord Vetinari." (Feet of Clay)

"Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on." (Hogfather)

"It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things." (Jingo)

"Ponder Stibbons was one of those unfortunate people cursed with the belief that if only he found out enough things about the universe it would all, somehow, make sense." (The Last Continent)

"Lancre operated on the feudal system, which was to say, everyone feuded all the time and handed on the fight to their descendants." (Carpe Jugulum)

"Humans don't like werewolves. Wolves don't like werewolves. People don't like wolves that can think like people, an' people don't like people who can act like wolves. Which just goes to show that people are the same everywhere." (The Fifth Elephant)

"A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on." (The Truth)

"It was hard to deal with people when a tiny part of you saw them as a temporary collection of atoms that would not be around in another few decades." (Thief of Time)

"Lord Vetinari, despite his education, had a mind like an engineer. If you wished to open something, you found the appropriate spot and applied the minimum amount of force necessary to achieve your end. Possibly the spot was between a couple of ribs and the force was applied via a dagger, or between two warring countries and applied via an army, but the important thing was to find that one weak spot which would be the key to everything. " (The Last Hero)

"A good plan isn't one where someone wins, it's where nobody thinks they've lost." (TAMAHER)

"THERE IS NO MORE TIME, EVEN FOR CAKE. FOR YOU, THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE." (Night Watch)

" What they did was sell invisible things. And after they had sold what they had, they still had it. They sold what everyone needed but didn’t often want. They sold the key to the universe to people who didn’t know it was locked." (The Wee Free Men)

"The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they’ve found it." (Monstrous Regiment)

"A Feegle liked to face enormous odds all by himself, because it meant you didn’t have to look where you were hitting." (A Hat Full of Sky)

"What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter." (Going Postal)

"'What would you do if I asked you an outright question, Vimes?’ ‘I’d tell you an outright lie, sir.’" (Thud!)

"First Sight and Second Thoughts, that’s what a witch had to rely on: First Sight to see what’s really there, and Second Thoughts to watch the First Thoughts to check that they were thinking right." (Wintersmith)

"The city bleeds, Mr Lipwig, and you are the clot I need." (Making Money)

"'The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord.' Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. 'Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.'" (Unseen
Academicals)

"People aren't just people, they are people surrounded by circumstances." (I Shall Wear Midnight)

"He was a scallywag, a chancer, a ruthless fighter and a dangerous driver of bargains over the speed limit. Since it was a bit of a mouthful, he was referred to as a successful businessman, since that more or less amounted to the same thing." (Snuff)

"The world is changing and it needs its shepherds and sometimes its butchers." (Raising Steam)

"She was Tiffany Aching. Not Granny Weatherwax, but a witch in her own right. A witch who knew exactly who she was and how she wanted to do things. Her way." and "A witch is always on the edge, between the light and the dark, good and bad, making choices every day, judging all the time. It was what made her human." (The Shepherd's Crown)

"It is known that knowledge is power, and power is energy, and energy is matter, and matter is mass, and therefore large accumulations of knowledge distort time and space." (The Science of Discworld)

"Think critically about what you are told. Do not accept the word of authority unthinkingly. Science is not a belief system: no belief system instructs you to question the system itself. Science does. (There are many scientists, however, who treat it as a belief system. Be wary of them.)" (tSoD: The Globe)

"'That’s young Darwin,’ said Ponder. ‘Very keen on collecting all sorts of wildlife.'" (tSoD: Darwin's Watch)

"Every scientific statement is provisional. Politicians hate this. How can anyone trust scientists? If new evidence comes along, they change their minds." (tSod: Judgement Day)

...and, of course:

"So he said to young Sam: 'if you lose your cow you should report this to the Watch under Demonic & Farmyard Animals (Lost) Act of 1804. They will swing into action with keenness and speed. Your cow will be found. If it has been impersonating other animals, it may be arrested. If you are a stupid person, do not look for your cow yourself.'" (Where's My Cow?)

And not forgetting...

"Death was Nature's way of telling you to slow down." (Strata)

"I don’t seem to be achieving anything, but I must keep trying, otherwise what is free will for?" (The Dark Side of the Sun)

"For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is complete and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've sat around aimlessly under the peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime." (Good Omens)

...and all the marvellous YA and "for (even) younger readers" novels:

"Religion is not an exact science. Sometimes, of course, neither is science." (Nation)

"There were two ways of looking at the world, but only one when you are starving." (Dodger)

"Just because you've got a mind like a hammer doesn't mean you have to treat everyone else like a nail." (Only You Can Save Mankind)

"Granddad was superstitious about books. He thought that if you had enough of them around, education leaked out, like radioactivity." (Johnny and the Dead)

"This isn’t magic, is it?" (Johnny and the Bomb)

"The Munrungs didn't have gods. Life was complicated enough as it was." (The Carpet People)

"'It’s a well-known fact that women can’t read,' said Gurder. 'It’s not their fault, of course. Apparently their brains get too hot. With the strain, you know.'"
(Truckers)

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it." (Diggers)

"Beyond the top of the sky was the place the Thing had called the universe. It contained – according to the Thing – everything and nothing. And there was very little everything and more nothing than anyone could imagine." (Wings)

[Editor's note: I haven't time to include any quotes from Sir Pterry's collections of children's short stories, or from Once More* With Footnotes or A Blink of the Screen or the Long earth series. Feel free to add your own...]

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

08) CLOSE

...and that's it for the moment. Normal service will resume later this month. Mind how you go!

– Annie Mac

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The End. If you have any questions or requests, write: wossname-owner (at) pearwood (dot) info

© 2022 by Wossname for the Klatchian Foreign Legion

Wossname
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
July 2020 (Volume 23, Issue 7, Post 1)

********************************************************************
WOSSNAME is a free publication offering news, reviews, and all the other stuff-that-fits pertaining to the works of Sir Terry Pratchett. Originally founded by the late, great Joe Schaumburger for members of the worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates, including the North American Discworld Society and other continental groups, Wossname is now for Discworld and Pratchett fans everywhere in Roundworld.
********************************************************************

Editor in Chief: Annie Mac
News Editor: Vera P
Newshounds: Mogg, Sir J of Croydon Below, the Shadow, Mss C, Alison not Aliss
Staff Writers: Asti, Pitt the Elder, Evil Steven Dread, Mrs Wynn-Jones
Staff Technomancer: Jason Parlevliet
Book Reviews: Annie Mac, Drusilla D'Afanguin, Your Name Here
Puzzle Editor: Tiff (still out there somewhere)
Bard in Residence: Weird Alice Lancrevic
Emergency Staff: Steven D'Aprano, Jason Parlevliet
World Membership Director: Steven D'Aprano (in his copious spare time)

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

INDEX:

01) QUOTES OF THE MONTH
02) EDITOR'S LETTER
03) THE TIME TRAVELLING CAVEMAN: EXTRACTS AND NEWS
04) ODDS AND SODS
05) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
06) DISCWORLD MEETING GROUPS NEWS
07) IMAGES OF THE MONTH
08) CLOSE

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

01) QUOTES OF THE MONTH

"There is so much in these stories that shows you the germ of an idea, which would go on to become a fully fledged Terry Pratchett novel, and so much hilarity that we know kids will love. That is what makes the stories so special – they are for kids and adults, and kids who want to be adults, and adults who are still really kids. Which is exactly who a Terry Pratchett book should be for."
– Ruth Knowles and Tom Rawlinson, editors of Pratchett's children's books

"When it comes to Terry, there is always going to be an embarrassment of riches. His incredible talent and imagination knew no bounds. With more tales of everything that would go on to make Terry Pratchett books the phenomenon they became – humour, satire, adventure and fantastical excellence – we just couldn’t deny readers these gems, and the chance to read a Terry story for the first time, one last time. It will mean so much to fans."
– Rob Wilkins is absolutely right!

"If more people read Pratchett, the world would be a better place."
– an American Army Engineers officer who blogs as Angry Staff Officer

"Paul sees things my way about seventy-five percent of the time, which suggests either mind-reading is happening or that my vision of the characters is really rather vague until I see his drawings."
– The Author's take on Mr Kidby's uncanny abilities (Ankh-Morpork Archives Vol.1, p.232)

"What people really want is that tomorrow should be no worse than today."
– Lord Vetinari (had he been in charge of pandemic response on Roundworld, we'd all probably be safely enjoying our holidays together by now)

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

02) LETTER FROM YOUR EDITOR

Greetings, O Readers! Yes, Wossname is still coming to you from the confines of Lockdown City, otherwise known as Melbourne in Fourecks.

A big Wossname thank-you to all our readers who wrote in last month to confirm they received the issue. Admin Steven has fought a long, hard and *very* frustrating battle to get Wossname through the minefield of overzealous webmail companies' false "spam positives", and the battle continues, but it's good to know that our work is not in vain!

The Time Travelling Caveman, last volume of Sir Pterry's children's stories first published in his days as a young journalist, won't be available for purchase until 3rd September 2020 although of course you can now pre-order. But meanwhile, there's some excellent pre-publication publicity (try saying that ten times fast!) that includes extracts from the stories The Tropnecian Invasion of Great Britain and The Hole in Time (see item 3 below). Great fun to be had, from the look of it!

A note for readers in Fourecks: QBD Books offers a very broad selection of Pratchett titles, including many of the auxiliaries, YA novels and children's story collections. Keep an eye out for The Time Travelling Caveman soon – and it's also a good place to stock up on any volumes you might be missing, or might want to buy as gifts: https://www.qbd.com.au/terry-pratchett/

We've all seen those amazing iconographs of a turtle with what looks like a small flat planet on its back. If you want to know more about the various life-forms that live on turtles' shells, with a lot of Discworld examples thrown in, see item 4.7!

And now, on with the show...

– Annie Mac, Editor

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

03) THE TIME TRAVELLING CAVEMAN

3.1 NEWS

The Penguin Books announcement:

"Imagination is an amazing thing. It can take you to the top of the highest mountain, or down to the bottom of the deepest depths of the sea. This where it took Doggins on his Awfully Big Adventure: a quest full of magic and flying machines. (And the world’s best joke – trust me, it’s hilarious.) It took three young inventors to the moon (where they may or may not have left a bottle of lemonade) and a caveman on a trip to the dentist. You can join them on these adventures, and many more, in this incredible collection of stories . . . From the greatest imagination there ever was. Written for local newspapers when Terry Pratchett was a young lad, these never previously published stories are packed full of anarchic humour and wonderful wit. A must-have for Terry fans . . . and young readers looking for a fix of magic."

https://bit.ly/39zG1l2

In The Bookseller, by Mark Chandler:

"Puffin is releasing a collection of early stories by Terry Pratchett which he penned during his career as a reporter. The Time-travelling Caveman brings together tales he wrote in the 1960s and 1970s for local papers the Bucks Free Press and the Western Daily Press. With illustrations from Mark Beech, it will be out on 3rd September. The following month, on 8th October, a £25 collector's edition will be released...."

https://bit.ly/39yPsBt

More details in the Guardian, by Alison Flood:

"The tales in The Time-travelling Caveman, many of them never released in book form before, range from a steam-powered rocket’s flight to Mars to a Welsh shepherd’s discovery of the resting place of King Arthur. “Bedwyr was the handsomest of all the shepherds, and his dog, Bedwetter, the finest sheepdog in all Wales,” writes the young Pratchett, with typical flourish. The stories appeared in the Bucks Free Press and Western Daily Press in the 60s and early 70s... Ruth Knowles and Tom Rawlinson, the editors of Pratchett’s children’s books, said when they learned from the author’s longtime agent, Colin Smythe, that there were more early stories, they jumped on them. 'After reading them, we knew we had to create one final book. It is very fitting that some of the first stories he wrote will be in the last collection by him to be published,” said Knowles and Rawlinson in a statement..."

https://bit.ly/330UPYV

3.2 EXTRACTS

The Guardian page above also features an exclusive peek inside The Time Travelling Caveman, in the form of one of the short stories, "The Tropnecian Invasion of Britain":

"Tropnecia is a very small country somewhere in the Tosheroon Islands, but once upon a time it very nearly conquered Great Britain. In AD 411, when the last of the Romans had just left, a small Tropnecian sailing ship that happened to be passing spotted the coast of England, and thought it would be a good place to conquer. That was how things were done in history. As soon as you saw a place, you had to conquer it, and usually the English Channel was full of ships queuing up to come and have a good conquer. ‘If you’ve got nothing to do,’ chieftains would tell their sons, ‘go and conquer England.’ Anyway, the Tropnecians arrived on a Sunday, when there was no one about, so the first thing they did was build a road. That’s another thing you have to do. Either you burn down houses or you build roads and walls, otherwise you don’t stand much chance of being put in the history books.

"Tropnecian roads can always be recognised because they never go in straight lines. The roads were all designed by the famous Tropnecian architect General Bulbus Hangdoge, and he wasn’t very good at drawing straight lines. Very good on the corners, but very bad on the straight lines. So all the roads were a little wobbly. At that time England was full of Picts, Scots, Druids, Angles, Saxons, Vikings, Stonehenges, wet weather and various kinds of kings, the most famous of which was King Rupert the Never Ready, of Wessex. He was never ready for anything, which was why England kept getting conquered. People would say, ‘Are you ready to fight the Vikings if they try to conquer us?’ and he would say, ‘I don’t think so.’ The next thing you knew, Vikings were all over the place, burning down houses...."

To read the whole extract, go to:

https://bit.ly/330UPYV

And Penguin Books offer a different, and longer, story exclusive: "The Hole in Time"! "We are thrilled to share The Hole in Time, one of the fantastically funny short stories from The Time-Travelling Caveman – the final collection of the first stories Sir Terry Pratchett ever wrote. With illustrations by the amazing Mark Beech, coming in September.":

"One morning, at about half past eight, there was a giant bang from the Blackbury University Science Institute and all the clocks in the town suddenly stopped. A dozen fire engines rushed up there, then wondered why they’d bothered. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong. A lot of people in white coats were rushing all over the place, but apart from that there was nothing out of the ordinary. ‘What’s going on here?’ asked the head of the institute, Mr Plinth, who had just arrived for work. He still had his mug of tea in his hand. A woman in a white coat, wearing thick spectacles, rushed up. ‘Something terrible has happened!’ she gasped. ‘We’ve lost Doctor Hughes! And her laboratory! They’ve gone!’ ‘Blown up, you mean?’ asked Mr Plinth, visibly shocked. ‘No, they’ve disappeared! Look.’ Dr Spectacles (for this was her name) pointed at what was actually just a patch of grass, next to the institute. ‘Looks like just a patch of grass to me,’ said Mr Plinth. ‘Well, there was a brick building standing there just a moment ago. Now it’s vanished.’ Mr Plinth scratched his head. Then he gingerly edged one of his boots onto the patch of grass where the brick building had been, while the laboratory workers stood around wondering whether he might vanish too. A few began to back away from Mr Plinth . . . and the patch of grass.

"Then it started to snow. At least, it snowed on that little patch of ground. Mr Plinth stared up and saw grey clouds. He stepped off the grass and suddenly the sun was shining again. He stepped back onto the grass, and into a snowdrift. ‘This here ground has got its own weather,’ he said. ‘It’s in the middle of January there, by the looks of it, while everywhere else is in August.’ ‘Ah, but which January – ’ began a portly whitecoated man, who then stopped rather suddenly as Dr Spectacles gave him a chilly look that would have made it snow outside the patch of grass, as well as inside it...."

To read the whole extract, and view the reproduced illustrations, go to:

https://www.terrypratchettbooks.com/exclusive-extract-from-the-time-travelling-caveman/

3.3 PRE-ORDERING INFO

The Time-travelling Caveman can be pre-ordered from:

Penguin: https://bit.ly/3g3PhAt and Penguin Australia: https://bit.ly/3hXdjOj
Discworld.com: https://bit.ly/3fa7sD8
Discworld Emporium: https://bit.ly/39MT8zL
Foyles: https://www.foyles.co.uk/all?term=9780857536020
Waterstones: https://bit.ly/3gFsLxB
Blackwells: https://blackwells.co.uk/bookshop/product/9780857536020
Hive: https://bit.ly/2CNrtTe

...and in Fourecks...

Booktopia: https://bit.ly/2ChTemc
QBD Books: https://bit.ly/3f5IYLn
Readings: https://bit.ly/2Cn9jqs
Dymocks: https://bit.ly/3fd4AX9
Angus and Robertson: https://bit.ly/31ZRicE

...and other places, including that evil one your Editor refuses to promote, ever. If at all possible, please support your local independent bookshop!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

04) ODDS AND SODS

4.0 THE ANKH-MORPORK ARCHIVES, VOLUME I

A review by Annie Mac

The blurb says The Ankh-Morpork Archives, Volume One contains "an anthology of text & illustrations from previous Discworld diaries – revamped & redesigned for the new visitor to Discworld's premier city! Written by Terry Pratchett and produced by Stephen Briggs, with artwork by Paul Kidby!" And while that's an accurate description, it doesn't tell the half of what's in this beautiful volume of Discly delights. Put simply, The Ankh-Morpork Archives, Volume One is the most must-have Pratchettverse book I've seen since the Illustrated Good Omens. And that's saying a lot.

This is a coffee table book and more, and it gives you more bang for your A-M buck. From the stunning cover design and art (with gold-ish bits!) to the beautiful endpapers to the heavy, glossy but not over-glossy pages and exquisite Paul Kidby illustrations (four in glorious full colour, no less), the book's 240 pages are crammed with Ankh-Morpork trivia. The Ankh-Morpork Archives, Volume One is effectively, for the many who never collected the yearbooks and diaries and other ancillary whatnots that were mined for this mini-omnibus, like reading fresh words from our The Author himself. While this is very obviously a collaborative effort, Sir Terry's voice comes through loud and clear.

So what's in those 240 pages? Well, there are four main sections – Unseen University, the Assassins' Guild, the Thieves' Guild, and the Post Office – plus a Notable Dates section and an Artist's Archive that features some extra Paul Kidby gems. Each section is prefaced by a short commentary on it by each of the three co-authors and features one of those aforementioned glorious colour illustrations at the start.

The Unseen University section covers, among other items, the Archchancellor's welcoming letter, Terms, the Library, attending lectures, and staff and faculty
– not to mention a highly in-character "address to freshers" from the infamous Adrian Turnipseed (before he became a professor at That Other Institute of Higher Learning That One Does Not Mention). There's also a guide to the city for students looking for trouble, that is, wanting to bask in the varied culture and cuisines of the Disc's greatest conurbation, with special emphasis on forbidden drinking dens.

The Assassins' Guild section covers Lord Downey's address, a guide to the Guild campus, a history of the Guild, school prizes and awards, Traditions, School Rules, student houses, Staff and Tutors (including fabulous portraits), "Famous Instruments of Despatch", famous commissions (including Open ones), and famous alumni (including, inter alia, 71-hour Ahmed and multiple generations of the Wiggs family). The Thieves' Guild ("Discriminate violence is our watchword") section offers an address from Guild President Boggis, Treasurer's Report, Guild professions, new crimes, an extensive piece on the Guild building and its history, advice on thieves' cant (and sample exam questions!), Guild officers and tutors, famous Thieves and other criminals, and famous dates in the annals of organised and less organised crime. Last but very definitely not least, the Ankh-Morpork Post Office section educates the reader about the history of post in Ankh-Morpork (including the less golden times before the coming of a certain semi-reformed con artist), postboxes and regulations for posting, other AMPO services on offer (including the Clacks, of course!), "Great dates in Posting", Stamps of Note, Heroes of the Post Office, and employees, associates and infamous enemies.

For my own part, I found the Thieves' Guild section to be the weakest and the one that feels least "real" and more like unrefined cartoonish caricature. I would have loved to see what Sir Terry would have made of a Thieves' Guild-centric novel, because when I consider his closer explorations of some of the other Guilds, I think he would have looked past the surface pantomime-character qualities and imbued the Thieves and their history in a more fleshed-out manner. But that said, there is still plenty of amusement to be had there. I also found it interesting to see some of the original Guild and Post Office "facts", that were amended or extended in later novels.

All sections are very liberally beautified by some of Paul Kidby's finest work; personal favourites include a full-page portrait of Hex, and a truly impressive group iconograph of the Assassins' Guild Staff and Tutors. My only quibble is that the binding seems a bit weak, and I can see that if the book is opened and read multiple times it may soon need the attentions of the Keepsake family book press.

The Ankh-Morpork Archives, Volume One is a jewel of a book. It truly is. If I sound like I'm overcome with admiration for it, it's because I am. Perfect Hogswatch present. Perfect addition to the Discworld ancillaries. Perfect stonker of a book. Buy it!

The Ankh-Morpork Archives, Volume One
Collected from the 1998 Unseen University Discworld Diary, 2000 Assassins' Guild Discworld Diary, 2002 Thieves' Guild Discworld Diary and 2007 Ankh-Morpork Post Office Discworld Diary
Published by Orion
ISBN 978 1 473205352

4.1 MORE GOOD OMENS ON THE TELLYBOX?

From Stubby the Rocket (yes, you read that correctly) on Tor.com:

"Speaking to Digital Spy over the weekend, Neil Gaiman said the odds of there being more of Good Omens the TV show are 'pretty good.' 'It’s not like anybody doesn’t want to make more Good Omens,' the writer and co-executive producer told the publication. 'We just need to figure out how and when and all of the various ifs, and sort everything out.' He added that the main deterrents are all the obstacles imposed on the entertainment industry by the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. 'But we’d all love to do it,” he continued, “so it’s really just a matter of seeing if we can actually make that happen in the world, if we can make the time happen, if we can work it with everybody’s schedule. I know I’m not the only person who wants to see more Crowley and Aziraphale.'..."

https://bit.ly/2DdI6Hx

4.2 UPDATE: THE TERRY PRATCHETT BOOK CLUB

On the website of publishers Tor, Emmet Asher-Perrin continues a Discworld discussion page. This time around it's The Light Fantastic:

"I appreciate the fact that Pratchett chose to move to a pastiche of a well-known female author, even if the Pern books have never quite been my thing personally. His description of Liessa – which seems like he’s just taking the protagonist name, Lessa, and putting a “lie” into it – feels a bit like he’s poking fun at the “special girl” trope (her hair is red flecked with gold and she’s super hot!), but she is still written as a person with agency, who has clear goals and desires. Plus royal drama that’s centered around needing to off your family members is always good for a laugh... Outside of the parody, this is a great little section to watch Rincewind get roped into yet more things that he wants nothing to do with. His particular brand of cowardice is great because it’s completely understandable cowardice – he’s not without bravery, he just hits a limit and then decides that if people aren’t going to listen to him, he might as well save himself... But more importantly, I’m a great big sucker for the trope of Believing In Magic Is Itself A Form of Magic. Which is exactly what we have here – Twoflower believes in dragons, and that’s the reason he can manifest one. That belief gives him power, and that’s beautiful because it is one of the only truly layman types of magic, when you get right down to it. It’s an equalizer than has nothing to do with station or skill or even learning."

https://www.tor.com/2020/07/03/terry-pratchett-book-club-the-colour-of-magic-part-iii/

...and more:

"So much of building a fantasy world is about what you choose to explain versus what you don’t, but Pratchett is particularly good at making the most out of details. Tethis is proof of that every time he shows up – particularly in the Luggage carting him all the way to Krull as a great big puddle of water. Also, it’s kind of “dad joke” territory, but I adore Pratchett milking how often people say 'here on the edge' when they’re trying to indicate how rough things are living on the literal edge of the world. It’s a very 80s action film kinda line, which would have been particularly timely when the book came out, but it’s still hilarious. This is the first part of the book that really brings up how common slavery is on the Disc, and while I think it can come off a bit cavalier in places, there is an importance to how Pratchett treats it as commonplace – as it is a common part of Earth’s history, it must be common on the Discworld in order to be effective as satire. He’s not at a point in his overall narrative where he’s going to devote a great deal of time to dissecting that issue, but he also doesn’t shy away from it...

https://www.tor.com/2020/07/10/terry-pratchett-book-club-the-colour-of-magic-part-iv/

...and yet more:

"It’s fascinating to see how much the tone has solidified into something with a specific pace and rhythm, and how much more he packs into this book than the previous one. I’d forgotten what a clear shift it was, and how much shrewder the prose comes off as a result. I was startling myself by laughing aloud, which is my favorite kind of reading... Because being contrary is sometimes a very worthy exercise, I always find myself particularly excited over moments where Pratchett just casually tears apart a cliche. Obviously, not all cliches are bad (and they can sometimes be amazing when employed well), but I have a lot of abiding love for the way that he begins a section toward the start of this book by saying that 'Ankh-Morpork, largest city in the lands around the Circle Sea, slept' and then immediately proceeds to tear that thought to shreds by letting you know the myriad of ways in which it is not sleeping, all to eventually point out that 'descriptive writing is very rarely entirely accurate.' And then launches into an aside about a Patrician of Ankh who wasn’t very into metaphors and similes and so forth... Death’s character has cemented more fully by this point, his delivery and matter-of-fact wisdom on full display. I wonder about how others readers find Death sometimes because my take has always been very specific – to my mind, Death speaking in “all caps” imbues him with a deadpan overarching tone that I cannot unhear. While Pratchett gives him the ability to use proper nouns (capitals within the all-caps format) and emphasis, the use of all-caps makes all of his dialogue read with equal emphasis to me. Which means that I end up rather puzzled with they inevitably pick Shakespearean-style actors full of rumbling gravitas (see: Christopher Lee, Ian Richardson, Stephen Thorne) to voice Death in audio dramas and television miniseries because, to me, Death should always be played by a comedian capable of scathing monotone..."

https://www.tor.com/2020/07/17/terry-pratchett-book-club-the-light-fantastic-part-i/

...and even more...

"Cohen is obviously a play on the concept of Conan the Barbarian… but if he lived to be a very old man. Which I appreciate, not only because it’s a fact of life that doesn’t occur to many people, but also because he’s really digging into the concept of aging when one’s purpose is tied to associations with youth, even from a comedic vantage point. For instance, Beowulf does actually get older in the course of his story, but he’s still permitted a “hero’s end”, as it were – we suspect big buff heroic figures to die in battle, generally because we assume that’s what they’d want, to die in glory and honor and what-have-you. But if one survives because they are the best, age is rarely so glamorous to anyone. So Cohen has no teeth (and it’s true, dental problems are one of the biggest issues of age, tweaks about dentures aside), and everything causes him pain, and he’s still just getting on with life despite all of that. And while everything that Pratchett writes comes with a sense of humor, I do think the reader is meant to truly engage with that idea. Is this what Conan would really become, eventually? What does it mean, to reckon with that?... There are times when Pratchett’s narrative has direct conversation with its audience, and it works particularly well in Herrena’s presentation, with its side-eye toward fantasy cover artists, and its insistence that for Herrena’s band of swarthy dudes, okay, “Look, they can wear leather if you like.” Pratchett gets to say in no uncertain terms, I know what you’re doing, and I’m not gonna stop you, but please know that I’m giving you A Look the whole time because you don’t have to engage tropes this way..."

https://bit.ly/3faGhIz

[As previously mentioned, these are well worth a read, and feel free to join in the comments! – Ed.]

4.3 THE PRATCHETT PROJECT UPDATES

The Pratchett Project has been moved online. It sounds wonderful!

By Alex Johnson for Fine Books Magazine:

"The Pratchett Project is a collaborative team of researchers from Trinity College Dublin, Senate House Library (University of London), and Liverpool University which since 2018 has been studying the life and work of writer Sir Terry Pratchett (1948-2015), author most famously of the Discworld series of humorous fantasy novels and also adjunct professor in the School of English at Trinity College Dublin. Registration is now open for the inaugural Pratchett Project Conference 2020, originally intended to be a ‘normal’ conference but which has nimbly leapt online. Attendance at the two-day event on September 17 and 18 is free, though donations are welcome and will go towards research into Alzheimer’s Disease from which Pratchett suffered. The scope of the research is wide – taking in neuroscience, translation studies, and cartography – and the organizers of the conference hope it will lead to the beginning of a new interdisciplinary and collaborative field of Pratchett Studies.

"Split into four sections over the two days, the conference will focus on The Space of Ideas, Translation and Humour, Ethics and Identity, and Research and Teaching. Scheduled sessions include The Big Wahoonie: Ankh-Morpork as Cross-Media Urban Imaginary; Translating Pratchett into Ukrainian: Strategies and Challenges; The Move from Fantasy Parody to Moral Complexity and Literary Fiction in the Ankh Morpork-novels; and 'Lies to children': From folk to formal science in Terry Pratchett's Discworld."

For more details, go to: https://bit.ly/2P50Uv5
To sign up, go to: https://bit.ly/39EQ34k

https://bit.ly/2ExDwED

4.4 THE LEADERSHIP OF VIMES

On the American military blog Angry Staff Officer, KCL War Studies student Matthew Ader discusses a certain Commander at length. Very interesting reading:

"Vimes is a good leader. He is hands on, taking a fair share of night patrols and investigations, despite an increasingly lofty rank. He knows his area of responsibility in minute detail. A recurring example is that he can tell from the feel of the ground underfoot where he is in the city with unerring precision. He has deep – if rather well hidden – empathy for the downtrodden and is immensely stubborn in defending his men. His most important attribute, however, is a flexible approach to regulations; he enforces some very harshly, and others in a highly selective fashion. For example, one of his corporals is a man called Nobby Nobbs. Nobbs is a prolific and unapologetic petty thief – if anything is lost, the plan is usually to hold him upside down and shake him until the item in question falls out of his pockets. Despite this predilection, Vimes keeps him on the force because he has an unmatched knowledge of criminal motivations. But on the other side of things, he insists on strict adherence to the law when dealing with fellow citizens, and on minimal violence. For example, in one of the books the dwarves and trolls are about to have a race riot. He conspires to make them both so overwhelmingly drunk that neither want to fight, as opposed to wading in with batons. Now, obviously, these leadership lessons do not map one-to-one with real-life organisations and challenges. However, the essential concepts that leaders are hands on, deeply knowledgeable about their responsibilities, and understand where to apply regulations in different intensities remain useful...."

https://angrystaffofficer.com/2020/07/20/put-down-clausewitz-pick-up-pratchett/

4.5 DISCWORLD CONVENTION NEWS

4.5a Nullus Anxietas updates

Nullus Anxietas 7a – The Australian Discworld Convention – will be held in Sydney on July 2-4, 2021

"The Australian Discworld conventions are run every 2 years for fans of author Sir Terry Pratchett, famous for his humorous fantasy books - especially the Discworld series. Nullus Anxietas 7a will be the eighth major Australian Discworld Convention! The conventions run for 3 days from Friday to Sunday, and include panels, special guests, workshops, creative events, costumes and a Gala Dinner, all focussed on Terry Pratchett's works."

Buy tickets: https://2021.ausdwcon.org/shop/
Newsletter: https://2021.ausdwcon.org/newsletter/
Facebook: https://facebook.com/Ausdwcon
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ausdwcon
Photos from previous conventions: https://bit.ly/33jq01R

https://2021.ausdwcon.org/

4.5b Ineffable Con updates

[All right, it's not Discworld, but it's certainly Pratchett! – Ed.]

REMINDER: Ineffable Con 2 is coming in an online version this October, with special guests Neil Gaiman, Rob Wilkins, and Douglas McKinnon:

"The Ineffable Con recently announced the second edition of his Good Omens UK convention. The first event was organized in October 2019 and raised £1,258.93 ($1,604.76 US) for Alzheimer’s Research UK in memory of Sir Terry Pratchett, who was a writer for the series. The organizers revealed that the second edition of the event would take place on October 16-18, 2020, as an online event. All benefits will be donated to charity... A lot of activities and panels are planned for the convention. There will be talks and panels about all the different aspects of Good Omens, quizzes, vid show, e-zine, live readings, cosplay contests, art show, and a dealer’s room. A chat room will also be available to enable fans to talk to each other."

When: Friday 16th–Sunday 18th October 2020
Venue: the Clacks!
Time: see website for details
Tickets: £25, available at https://theineffablecon.org.uk/reg.php

You can find more information about the event on their website: http://theineffablecon.org.uk

4.5c DWCon updates

The UK Discworld Convention is long since sold out, of course, but has had to reschedule due to the pandemic:

"The Convention itself has been postponed, not cancelled, which means everyone's memberships will remain valid. Because there are several other Discworld Conventions scheduled for 2021, we have postponed to August 2022, again at the Birmingham Hilton. The exact date is yet to be confirmed, but we will of course get that information to you as soon as reasonably possible... The Hilton will be refunding all DWCon room reservation bookings automatically, and you should not need to take any action. Please note that although the Hilton have said they are doing everything they can to process refunds as quickly as possible, they are currently operating with a skeleton staff. Due to the influx of cancellations from both the Convention and other guests/events, they estimate it will take up to 30 days for this automatic refund process to be complete.

"If because of Covid-19 you have sold your membership for 2020, or already refused a membership offer for the upcoming Convention, you will be at the top of the waiting list for memberships to the rescheduled Convention in 2022. Please direct questions regarding this to membership@dwcon.org. This is an incredibly disappointing turn of events for us. After working hard for almost two years to put on a memorable Convention, it has been a very difficult choice to have to make. We understand, too, that you will be every bit as disappointed as we currently feel. However, the current global situation is one beyond anyone’s control, and our chief concern now is to make the postponed Convention every bit as enjoyable as it would have been had we travelled down the other trouser. If you have any other questions, please email us at info@dwcon.org. See you all in 2022."

https://2020.dwcon.org/news/discworld-convention-postponed/

4.5d Scheibenwelt updates

Scheibenwelt, the German Discworld Convention, will next take place on 6th–9th May 2021 at the usual venue, Castle Ludwigstein. The theme this time will be Genua; previous convention themes have included Uberwald, Unseen University, the Assassins' Guild, Klatch, and witches of the Disc.

"The German Discworld Convention takes place in a castle in the German-speaking countries in the 2-year rhythm. During this time, we offer our more than 200 guests workshops, talks, games, guests of honour and booths selling Discworld merchandising that is usually not available in Germany. You can stop by as a day visitor or stay right at the castle or in a nearby hotel. The program spans several days."

Keep an eye on their website:

https://www.scheibenwelt-convention.de/#/en/

4.6 THE MERCH CORNER

This month's feature is a BIG one from the Discworld Emporium. Although not everyone is exactly in possession of money to burn in these pandemic times, this would make an amazing gift for a Pratchett fan's graduation or wedding!

* The Discworld Collector's Library

"Upgrade your Discworld collection and beautify your bookshelves with the Discworld Collector's Library! These beautiful hardback editions of Terry Pratchett's Discworld books feature canvas effect covers with metallic foil detailing and artwork by Joe McLaren. The Collector's Library is being released in instalments each year, and this collection includes the 34 titles released so far. More titles will be added to as more books in the Discworld series are published in this glorious edition!"

The Discworld Collector's Library includes The Colour of Magic, The Light Fantastic, Equal Rites, Mort, Sourcery, Wyrd Sisters, Pyramids, Guards! Guards!, Eric, Moving Pictures, Reaper Man, Witches Abroad, Small Gods, Lords and Ladies, Men at Arms, Soul Music, Interesting Times, Maskerade, Feet of Clay, Hogfather, Jingo, The Last Continent, Carpe Jugulum, The Fifth Elephant, The Truth, Thief of Time, Night Watch, Monstrous Regiment, Going Postal, Thud! (currently reprinting, will ship separately), Making Money, Unseen Academicals, Snuff, and Raising Steam.

"Please note: Books are precious and heavy, so due to shipping weight restrictions and to prevent damage, this collection will be delivered in multiple packages."

"+ PLEASE NOTE – THUD! IS CURRENTLY REPRINTING, AND WILL SHIP SEPARATELY! +"

Each complete-to-date Discworld Collector's Library is priced at £419.50. For more info, and to order, go to:

https://bit.ly/39zBDm4

* The Ankh-Morpork Archives, Volume Two

"Containing material unavailable for twenty years – this is a comprehensive guide to the capital city of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld, getting to the heart of Ankh-Morpork’s secrets, societies and guilds. Ankh-Morpork is a bottomless pit of secrets. It’s time to unearth a few more . . . In the second volume of this confidential guide, brave travellers are made privy to the inner workings of more illustrious Ankh-Morpork societies. Disabuse yourself of notions of professionalism under which you may hold the City Watch; discover what serious business is undertaken by the Fools’ Guild (joking is no laughing matter); and, should you be lucky, achieve true enlightenment through the teachings of Lu-Tze. One thing’s for sure: after you’ve read this book, Ankh-Morpork’s Guilds are going to need to come up with new ways of doing things. Completely revamped and redesigned, this full-colour book contains material from Discworld Diaries across the decades."

Each copy of The Ankh-Morpork Archives, Volume Two is priced at £25 and will be published on 29th October 2020. For more info, and to pre-order, go to:

https://discworld.com/products/books/ankh-morpork-archives-volume-two/

* Reminder: Ankh-Morpork City Watch Journal

"In a city like Ankh-Morpork, where Assassins assassinate, thieves thieve and seamstresses, um . . . don’t, Law and Order can be a complicated business. Thankfully His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of Ankh, Commander Sir Samuel Vimes (Blackboard Monitor) and the Ankh-Morpork City Watch are here to keep the peace. The finest body of men, women, dwarfs, trolls, werewolves, golems, Igors, gnomes, Feegles, vampires (and whatever Nobby Nobbs is) on the face of the Discworld! The Ankh-Morpork City Watch Journal provides jotting space for your notes, reports, observations and investigations, so kick back, relax and take down your particulars. To help you keep on the straight and narrow, you’ll be aided and abetted by some choice quotes from Terry Pratchett’s seminal City Watch novels."

Each Ankh-Morpork City Watch Journal ("Exclusively embossed with Terry's signature and sealed with his coat of arms") is priced at £17 and will be available to ship on 6th August 2020. For more info, and to pre-order, go to:

https://bit.ly/31jaHVy

* Reminder: The Magic of Terry Pratchett (biography)

"Journalist, comedian and Pratchett fan Marc Burrows delves into the back story of one of UK's most enduring and beloved authors, from his childhood in the Chiltern Hills to his time as a journalist, and the journey that would take him – via more than sixty best-selling books – to an OBE, a knighthood and national treasure status. The Magic Of Terry Pratchett is the result of painstaking archival research alongside interviews with friends and contemporaries who knew the real man under the famous black hat, helping to piece together the full story of one of British literature's most remarkable and beloved figures for the very first time."

There are several versions that will be available, starting with the standard edition (currently priced at £16), the fancier Snapcase edition (£21), and the Patrician Box (£35.00, featuring various extras). For more information, and to pre-order, go to:

https://www.askmeaboutterrypratchett.com/s/shop

https://twitter.com/20thcenturymarc

4.7 ASK ME ABOUT TURTLES...

When turtle researchers intersect with Discworld fans, a lot of quotes and references happen! Read on to learn what researchers at Florida State University are learning about the myriad life-forms that live on their backs, by Sarah Lawton for Lab News:

"Reading the recent news article, ‘Researchers uncover a world of life on the back of a turtle’, published on our website on 4 June, it was impossible to resist contacting the researchers to ask what it was like investigating life on the back of giant turtles on behalf of all Terry Pratchett fans out there. As it turns out, however, the most exciting results from this research focus on a much smaller ecological phylum. This international team... opted to sample meiofauna, which are organisms roughly between 1 and about 0.032mm in size. Specifically, they focused on a type of aquatic meiofauna called nematodes, also known as roundworms... "What I am interested in are the microscopic creatures living on the turtle’s back,” explains [researcher Jeroen] Ingels. “I don't really care that much whether it is a turtle or not… but a turtle shell is a very intriguing substrate for the organisms I am interested in. You can compare the complexity of a turtle shell with other hard substrates, such as rocks, sea defences or sea plants. To find nematodes on loggerhead turtle carapaces is no surprise, but when we compared their numbers and diversity to those from other hard surfaces or even on marine plant life, we realised their carapaces abound with this microscopic life," Ingels said. Ingels also noted that turtles are mobile; they swim large distances. So, whatever they are carrying on their backs has to come from somewhere and, indeed, is going somewhere...

"Tens of thousands of microscopic organisms can colonise loggerhead turtles, which visit remote coasts and beaches during their migration. It makes sense that there would be a connection between the locations frequented by the turtles and the places where the same meiofauna are found. A better understanding of that link could help inform conservation practices for these reptiles..."

http://www.labnews.co.uk/article/2030727/the-truth-about-turtles

4.8 GREAT A'TUIN IN LEGO?

Remember the drive, a while ago, to get 1,000 elephants, I mean 10,000 supporters, to make the first cut for convincing Lego to manufacture a Discworld set? Well, things are looking up... or at least potentially brick-ish. By Legoist Allen Tran on The Brick Fan:

"Terry Pratchett’s Discworld by BrickHammer is the latest project to achieve 10,000 supporters on LEGO Ideas. The set is based on comic fantasy series that is set on a flat planet balanced on backs of four elephants which stand on the back of a giant turtle. The build itself contains about 2,650 pieces. It now joins The Mountain Windmill, Community – Greendale Community College, LEGO HeroQuest, Brickwest Studios, House from Up, Animal Crossing New Horizons: Nook’s Cranny, Trabant 601, Night at the Museum, Fast Food Corner, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Portal 2 – GLaDOS vs Chell and Wheatley, BMW M1 (E26), Caribbean Clipper, Sheriff’s Safe with Combination Lock, 31 Minutos T.V. Studio, and Southwest 737-800 as the projects to reach the Second 2020 Review Stage..."

https://bit.ly/2DiH4d0

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

05) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS

No plays are being performed in public on Roundworld at the moment, of course. But keep an eye out for possible forthcoming Discworld plays later in the year. We must keep the knowledge of Discworld circulating!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

06) DISCWORLD MEETING GROUPS NEWS

Remember, one day, possibly in the not too distant future, Discworld fans will be able to meet in the real Roundworld again. So keep this information handy! Also note there are a few updates below.

The Broken Drummers, "London's Premier Unofficially Official Discworld Group"
BrokenDrummers@gmail.com or nicholls.helen@yahoo.co.uk or join their Facebook group at
https://www.facebook.com/groups/55107511411/permalink/10156634038566412/

NOTE: the Drummers are still meeting occasionally via Zoom. Check out the above links for updates!

*

Drumknott's Irregulars
Facebook (_https://www.facebook.com/groups/824987924250161/_) or Google Groups (_https:groups.google.com/forum/#!forum/drumknotts-irregulars_) or join us at our next event."

*

The Victorian Discworld Klatch
https://www.facebook.com/groups/VictorianDiscworldKlatch

*

"The Gathering of the Loonies (Wincanton chapter)
https://www.facebook.com/groups/373578522834654/

*

The Pratchett Partisans
https://www.facebook.com/groups/pratchettpartisans/ or contact Ula directly at uwilmott@yahoo.com.au

*

The City of Small Gods
www.cityofsmallgods.org.au

UPDATE: "What are we doing while we're stuck at home due to COVID-19? Given that our normal social gatherings can't happen while everyone's under lockdown due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we are instead trying to host regular activities and discussions online. Most of these will be done via our Discord Server – https://discord.gg/3RVzsyJ – which has several text chat channels and a few voice chat channels as well. We will still use our Facebook group – https://facebook.com/groups/cityofsmallgods – to coordinate scheduled events. When things get back to normal... (semi-) regular social meetings are generally held on the last Thursday of the month at a pub or restaurant in Adelaide. We have dinner at 6.30pm followed by games until 9pm."


*

The Broken Vectis Drummers
broken_vectis_drummers@yahoo.co.uk

*

The Wincanton Omnian Temperance Society (WOTS) meets at Wincanton's famous Bear Inn when social gatherings are possible.

*

The Northern Institute of the Ankh-Morpork and District Society of Flatalists normally meet at The Narrowboat Pub in Victoria Street, Skipton, North Yorkshire, Details of future meetings are posted on the Events section of the Discworld Stamps forum: http://www.discworldstamps.co.uk/forum/

*

Sydney Drummers (formerly Drummers Downunder)
Contact Sue (aka Granny Weatherwax): kenworthys@yahoo.co.uk

*

The Treacle Mining Corporation, formerly known as Perth Drummers https://www.facebook.com/groups/Perth.Drummers/ – or message Alexandra Ware directly at <alexandra.ware@gmail.com>

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

07) IMAGES OF THE MONTH

"Sir Terry Scratchett", who stands guard over the science fiction and fantasy at San Antonio, Texas' nascent Nowhere Bookshop:
https://bit.ly/3ebQap0

More about Nowhere Books:
https://www.sanantoniomag.com/jenny-lawsons-nowhere-bookshop-in-san-antonio/

Cover art for the forthcoming second volume of The Ankh-Morpork Archives:
https://bit.ly/3g8iPwZ

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

08) CLOSE

For those of you who enjoy Dungeons & Dragons as well as being Good Omens miniseries fans, Ajay Aravind on ScreenRant has calculated "how the main personalities on the show can be classified into the D & D alignment system, based on their individual moral compass." I have to admit, I'm amused by Gabriel being classed as Lawful Evil, as indeed he should be:

https://bit.ly/2VVeDsj

And that's it for now. Mind how you go, and we hope to see you next month!

– Annie Mac

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The End. If you have any questions or requests, write: wossname-owner (at) pearwood (dot) info

Copyright (c) 2020 by Wossname for the Klatchian Foreign Legion