Wossname -- March 2019 -- Special Issue
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wossnameWossname
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
March 2019 (Volume 22, Issue 1, Post 1)
********************************************************************
WOSSNAME is a free publication offering news, reviews, and all the other stuff-that-fits pertaining to the works of Sir Terry Pratchett. Originally founded by the late, great Joe Schaumburger for members of the worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates, including the North American Discworld Society and other continental groups, Wossname is now for Discworld and Pratchett fans everywhere in Roundworld.
********************************************************************
Editor in Chief: Annie Mac
News Editor: Vera P
Newshounds: Mogg, Sir J of Croydon Below, the Shadow, Mss C, Alison not Aliss
Staff Writers: Asti, Pitt the Elder, Evil Steven Dread, Mrs Wynn-Jones
Staff Technomancer: Jason Parlevliet
Book Reviews: Annie Mac, Drusilla D'Afanguin, Your Name Here
Puzzle Editor: Tiff (still out there somewhere)
Bard in Residence: Weird Alice Lancrevic
Emergency Staff: Steven D'Aprano, Jason Parlevliet
World Membership Director: Steven D'Aprano (in his copious spare time)
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
INDEX:
01) QUOTES OF THE MONTH
02) EDITOR'S LETTER
03) ODDS AND SODS
04) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
05) IMAGES OF THE MONTH
06) CLOSE
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
01) QUOTE OF THE MONTH
"It's totally bonkers. Because Neil Gaiman adapted it and is showrunner, the oddness isn't diluted at all. Terry charged Neil with getting it made, almost as his deathbed wish, so it’s a real labour of love. The whole thing is dedicated to Terry's memory. His hat was at the script read-through."
-- David "Crowley" Tennant on angels, demons and headwear, interviewed in The Guardian, 10th February 2019
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02) A LETTER FROM YOUR EDITOR
Greetings, O faithful readers, and welcome to the first post of 2019, aka the Year of the Incontrovertible Skunk! I was planning to extend my much-needed break into April, but there are some things that deserve to not wait.
Also, the fourth anniversary of the death of Sir Terry Pratchett is upon us tomorrow. I don't know about you, but I intend to raise a glass of the closest thing Roundworld has to scumble in his memory and honour. Then again, we at the Fortress of Wossname tend to honour his memory almost every day... although not normally with scumble...
There are some Discworld (and other Pratchett) books I re-read at least once a year, others that I re-read at much longer intervals. At this point in 2019 I think I've probably re-read the entire series at least four times; if I'm still around in, say, 2039 I hope to have added significantly to that number. And for all that I remember each book very well, I am surprised and delighted, each time I re-read one, by a detail here or a plot point or dialogue exchange there. At the moment I'm two-thirds of the way through Reaper Man for the manyth time and falling in love with the painfully innocent Bill Door all over again.
So on this date, let us all give thanks to an uncaring universe that Terence David John Pratchett lived among us and continues to brighten our lives with his body of work. And again, in his honour, I hereunder re-publish Weird Alice Lancrevic's parodic paean, The Love Song of TDJ Pratchett with Apologies to TS Eliot:
Let us go then, you and I,
When the Rimfall is spread out against the sky
Like a victim on Quetzovercoatl's altar
Let us go, through certain dark Ankh-Morpork streets,
As Cumbling Michael bleats
Of restless nights in Elm Street's cheap bedsits
And Harga's restaurant with greasy chips
Streets that follow like a Fools' Guild argument
Of a humorous intent
To lead you to an overt wealth of... footnotes!
Oh, do not play Greek Chorus
Let us go and dance Dark Morris.
In the room the wizards come, unseen
Talking of thaumic octarine.
The Morpork smog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The river-fug that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes,
Licked its tongue into the corners of the Bucket,
Lingered upon the gargoyles guarding drains,
Let fall upon its back the black of lithe Assassins,
Slipped by the terrace, writhed round Sator Square,
And seeing that it was a soft Sektober night,
Curled once around the Tump, and fell asleep.
And indeed there will be crime
Under Ankh-born fumes that slide down Easy Street,
Rubbing grey-black upon the window-panes; Disc-ing itself
There will be crime, and barely time
To prepare a voucher for the Thieves that you may meet;
There will be time to say the number Eight,
And time for all Devices wrought by dwarfs
That lift this brawling City toward its fate;
Time for Schleppel, time for Reg,
And time yet for an Igor's deft incisions,
And for a Sweeper's history revisions,
Before the taking of meat and two veg.
In the room the wizards come, unseen
Making a joke about the Dean.
And indeed there will be time
To wonder, 'Do I dare? Will Vimes go spare?'
Time to turn back Time and deeds repair,
With P.L.T. making horrors of my hair—
[They will say: 'How she stoops, to wear the tin!']
My armoured breasts, my collar fastened firmly 'neath my chin,
My pedigree's the oddest, but blue-blooded via lupine kin—
[They will say: 'But she's a vegetarian!']
Do I dare
Disturb the multiverse?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which the Moon will soon reverse.
For I have known the grags already, known them all—
Have known the meetings, mineshafts, Ankhian ruins,
I have squandered all my gold in greasy spoons;
I know the old life's dying, like an axe's fall
Beneath the bustle under cellar rooms.
So should I mention Koom?
And I have known the toffs already, known them all—
The eyes that damn you with a far too inbred phrase,
And when I am relegated, tossed like Mr Pin,
When I am told 'No comment!' by Lord Rust,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all Spike's butt-ends from the Golem Trust?
And how should I presume?
And I have known the 'girls' already, known them all—
Arms of that painted Guild, pale, white and calm
(But in the lamplight, best of Mrs Palm's!)
Is it scumble from a dish
That makesh me shpeak like thish?
Arms that twine around a client, or cap a maiden's fall.
And should I rent a room?
How soon should I dig in?
. . . . .
Shall I say, I have lurked at dusk in Morpork's streets
And watched the Clacks that clatter from the roofs
Midst lonely geeks with code-books, changing shifts in towers? . . .
I should have been a cruel wild banshee's claws
Scuttling between the Trouserlegs of Time.
. . . . .
And 'til well past noon, Young Sam will sleep so peacefully!
Smooth is his breathing,
Asleep . . . tired . . . or merely teething
Safe in his bed, here beside you and me.
Should I, after teetotal libations,
Have the strength to foil yet more assassinations?
But though I have cursed and shouted, growled and coughed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] fetch ever higher prices
I am no genius — but I'm cool in crisis;
I have seen the sternest of my Watchmen flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Death of Rats go SNH, and snicker,
And in short, I was pissed off.
And would it have been worth it all, and sweet,
After millennium hand and shrimp for tea,
Among the Faculty, among some talk of Sourcery,
Would it have been worth while
To endure Ridcully's hassling with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe's rubber sheet
To roll it toward some thaumic insurrection,
To say: 'We are wizardry's future, come have fun
'Come HEX me up a treat, H.E.M. is neat!'
If one, scoffing a sausage inna bun,
Should say: 'That is not what I meant to eat.
'That is not real named meat.'
And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the battles and the broadswords and the trampled thrones,
After the sagas, after the horse cheese, after the skirts I chased
from Rim to Hub—
And dine-chewers for my grub?—
It is 'barbarian' to say just what I mean!
But seen by a magic lantern through a silken Agatean screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, scuttling a Dark Lord or storming Io's gate
To turn larks into legends, should say:
'That's not a hero's fate,
'That's not a deathless hero's fate.'
No! I am not King Verence, nor was meant to be;
I'm just a tender Tomjon, one who'll do
To thrill the punters, steal a scene or two
Advise the prince; he jingles, but he's cool,
Deferential to the senior Ogg
Mildly thick, gracious, and fond of his wife;
Full of high purpose, but a bit agog;
At times, indeed, a cliche brought to life—
Almost a perfect Fool.
I grow old . . . I grow old . . .
I shall yet wear midnight when the nights are cold.
Shall I shout 'Io's not blind!'? Do I dare to speak of Klatch?
I shall wear black pointy headgear, and fly on brooms of thatch
I have heard the Beggars, canting to the Watch.
I do not think that they will beg from me.
We have seen young vampires gliding past the Moon
Combing the land for humans to attack
Venting their blood-lust stylishly in black.
We have lingered on the shambling Circumfence
By sea-trolls wreathed with foam against the sky
Till Great A'Tuin takes us, and we fly.
– Annie Mac, Editor
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
03) ODDS AND SODS
3.1 GOOD OMENS: THE FULL TRAILER
As released on 6th March and already viewed many times!
https://youtu.be/hUJoR4vlIIs
3.2 THE ILLUSTRATED GOOD OMENS IS ALMOST HERE!
"The iconic fantasy novel from Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman becomes definitive! First published in 1990, translated into multiple languages and released in numerous editions across the world, Good Omens has spawned a BBC radio series and now a primetime television series from Amazon Studios and BBC Worldwide. Illustrated for the first time by artist and longterm Pratchett-collaborator Paul Kidby, using a new definitive text, agreed by Neil Gaiman and the Terry Pratchett Estate, these five editions represent the ultimate culmination of the imaginations of the UK’s two foremost fantasy authors."
You can pre-order through Discworld.com or PaulKidby.com. The standard hardcover and standard slipcase editions will be published on 4th April 2019; the Occult, Ineffable and Celestial editions will follow on 20th June 2019, although there's a disclaimer saying "Production time for the Celestial Edition will vary" -- understandable, as you'll see when you read the description below! Please note that prices listed below are "recommended" and may be higher.
In standard hardcover, 234 x 153mm: "Hardback with 12 colour illustrations and 5 pencil illustrations." Priced at £30 each.
...and standard slipcase, same size: "Slipcase hardback with 12 colour illustrations and 5 black and white illustrations. Numbered tipped-in sheet signed by Paul Kidby.' Priced at £75 each.
The Occult edition, 305 x 230mm: 'Hardback in a clamshell box, with metallic red page edges, 17 colour illustrations with additional pencil illustrations. Numbered tipped-in sheet signed by Paul Kidby." Limited to 1655 copies and priced at £95.
The Ineffable edition, same size: "Hardback in a deluxe presentation box, with gold page edges, 17 colour illustrations with additional pencil illustrations. Numbered tipped-in sheet signed by Neil Gaiman & Paul Kidby. Separate folio of Good Omens ephemera." Limited to, yes, 666 copies and priced at £295.
And last but definitely not least, the Celestial edition, also same size: "Leather-bound hardback in an artisan presentation box, with gold foil page edges, 17 colour illustrations with additional pencil illustrations. Each copy individually hand-printed and bound. Named tipped-in sheets, each corresponding to a letter of the Greek alphabet, signed by Neil Gaiman & Paul Kidby. Separate folio of Good Omens ephemera." Limited to 24 copies and priced at... well, you have to ask!
For more information, and to order, go to: http://goodomensillustrated.com/
And speaking of Paul Kidby, this is from his website:
The Terry Pratchett: HisWorld exhibition at the museum ultimately raised "substantial funds... which will be donated to RICE (The Research Institute for the Care of Older People) in Bath. When the HisWorld exhibition opened at the museum in September 2017, a special little blue book was created to accompany it. The book 'Terry Pratchett: HisWorld – A Brief Guide to Discworld' was compiled by writer Stephen Briggs, with illustrations by Paul Kidby... The decision was taken by the Estate of Sir Terry Pratchett before the exhibition opened, that 50% of the proceeds from the blue book sales would be donated to RICE, in honour of Sir Terry. By the time the exhibition closed on 14 January, it had been visited by over 21,000 people. Sales of the book were incredible and as a result £20,000 has been raised for this fantastic institution..."
https://www.paulkidby.com/20000-raised-for-rice/
3.3 A FEW NOTES
* A selection from Leonie Holmes' Dance of the Wintersmith, as featured in several issues last year, can be seen and heard at https://bit.ly/2J3l1JZ (the video link is about 1/3 of the way down the page).
* Nullus Anxietas 7 (the Australian Discworld convention) will take place next month on 12th–14th April at Mantra Bell City, 215 Bell Street, Preston, Victoria 3072. This year's theme is Going Postal. Tickets are still available at https://ausdwcon.org/shop/
* The Irish Discworld Convention will be held at the end of this month, starting on the 29th and featuring an Uberwald Sektoberfest theme. Memberships are sold out but it's still worth checking their website in case any become available at the last minute: http://2019.idwcon.org/
* The Broken Drummers in London will change their normal first Monday of the month schedule for next month (April). Due to the Irish Discworld convention taking place then, the Drummers' April meeting will be on the second Monday, which is 8th April. Some further updates from organised Helen: "In the meantime, we have a trip to Westminster Abbey on 16th March. Tickets can be bought at https://tickets.westminster-abbey.org/wa.ticketing/ . It is £20 per ticket and £5 for the gallery museum. Book the 9:00-11:00 slot for the abbey (we are meeting at 10am) and the 11:00-11:15 slot for the museum. It is probably possible to buy tickets on the day but I recommend advanced booking. Next some of us are going to a special Life of Brian screening at the Victoria Curzon on 18th April at 18:15. Tickets can be bought at https://wewantbrian.com/?fbclid=IwAR0c9NzkY1qW27HaO3_DiQTx9ll7qjeC1yk0Z5xIQHmDLYsq0tA435cECcs ...Marina has bought tickets for those who have confirmed but that does not stop others joining us." Oh, and the Drummers are considering organising a Drummers Paintball. The faculty of UU would definitely approve!
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04) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
Editor's note: as Wossname normally only comes out once every month, do check the Wossname blog for information on plays that might fall between issue dates! Go to https://wossname.dreamwidth.org/ for interim updates.
4.1 FORTHCOMING PRODUCTIONS
* WYRD SISTERS IN GLOUCESTERSHIRE (MARCH)
TADS (Tewkesbury Arts and Drama Society) will be staging their production of Wyrd Sisters this month! Both performance days feature a matinee and an evening show.
When: 23rd–24th March 2019
Venue: the Roses Theatre, Sun Street, Tewkesbury, Glos GL20 5NX
Time: 23rd March at 2.30pm and 7.30pm; 24th March at 2pm and 6pm
Tickets: £14, available from the Roses Theatre Box Office at http://www.rosestheatre.org/
http://www.tads.org.uk/index.html
* MORT IN WALSALL (APRIL)
The Fellowship Players will stage their production of Mort next month!
When: 3rd–14th April 2019
Venue: Grange Playhouse, Broadway North, Walsall, West Midlands WS1 2QB
Time: 7.45pm all shows (note: no performance on the 6th)
Tickets: £10, available from the box office (01922 630495), online at https://www.ticketsource.co.uk/fellowship-players or by post by printing off the booking form and sending it with a Self-Addressed Envelope and cheque made payable to "The Fellowship Players" to The Fellowship Players, 24 Sutton Road, Walsall, WS1 2PD
https://fellowship-players.co.uk/
* WYRD SISTERS IN EAST SUSSEX (MAY)
Crowborough Community Centre will present "a hilarious stage version of Terry Pratchett’s classic novel" Wyrd Sisters in May. It's their first-ever Discworld play!
When: 10th–11th May 2019
Venue: Crowborough Community Centre, Pine Grove, Crowborough, East Sussex TN6
Time: 7.45pm all evening shows: also, 2.30pm matinee on the 11th
Tickets: £9.50 (£8 concessions), available online at https://www.ticketsource.co.uk/thecrowboroughplayers or by ringing 01892 300 567
"There is no age restriction, so younger children are welcome but note that, unlike our pantomimes, the production isn't aimed at a younger audience. Any questions, email crowborough.tickets@gmail.com or call 01892 300567."
https://crowborough.weebly.com/spring-play1.html
* WYRD SISTERS IN SUFFOLK (MAY)
The Deben Players, an amateur company that has been presenting plays for over 50 years, will stage Wyrd Sisters in May. It's a Discworld first for them as well!
When: 22nd–25th May 2019
Venue: Seckford Theatre, Burkitt Road, Woodbridge, Suffolk IP12 4JJ
Time: 7.30pm all shows
Tickets: £12 (£10 concessions), available online at http://debenplayers.net/tickets
https://debenplayers.net
4.2 REVIEWS
* MORT IN DURHAM
A long and detailed review by Aaron Rozanski on Palatinate.org:
"Whilst Ooook’s latest production of 'Mort' may have lacked the grace and perfection of Pratchett’s infamous creative vision, it undoubtedly embraced the eccentricity vital to the ‘Discworld’ saga... for the most part I found the experience jovial. The majority of this should be attributed to the cast, who embody the endless canon of quirky creatures impressively. John Duffett as the infamous 'Death' holds the room with his classically handsome voice, with his deadpan comedic delivery earning the most genuine laughs of the evening. Despite never seeing the face behind the honey-glazed tones, Duffett manages to create a character with depth and emotional range, which is no easy feat, especially whilst Death tackles the hellish equivalent of menopause. Alistair Hall captures the nervous energy and manic aura of Mort, providing a wonderful counterpart to Duffett’s booming brilliance. Whilst he occasionally struggles with aspects of his character, specifically in displaying the internal turmoil within Mort towards the end of the play, the majority of his performance is nuanced and effective... Pratchett demands actors to embrace the bizarre, urging them to feel ridiculous in their performances, as this is the only way for the play to come across as deliberately quirky and not accidentally tacky. However, the overall energy and dedication to the mania created a cast Pratchett would have been proud of. I found myself saddened, however, that the majority of the jokes fell flat with the audience. Therefore, greater time needed to be taken at key plot points to ensure people could follow, and actors needed to deliver certain speeches with more care...
"The music is perfect, capturing the fantastical feeling of the narrative, and never seems to overbear the performances. Once again, I was unsure why it was used to link some scenes and not others, as it provided the perfect connector as we travelled around the Discworld. The costumes are outstanding, and the apparently never-ending colourful wardrobe draws us into the world of fantasy like no charity shop ever has. Overall, it could be easy to criticise the imperfections of Ooook's latest production. However, it was impossible not to feel affection for the wonder and ambition of 'Mort'. The spectacular cast carried a script of potential hilarity, and with greater care and refinement, there is no reason this play could not be deathly amusing..."
https://www.palatinate.org.uk/review-mort/
...also reviewed by Imogen Isherwood on the Durham Student Theatre website:
"It is very much a play of cameos; between them, the nineteen-strong cast present an array of minor characters whose absurdities bounce off the protagonists with real energy. Matt Redmond shines as the Doorknocker (and not just because his face was painted gold), and carried his brilliant comic timing into his second role as the excitable Rincewind. Ed Cook as the bumbling High Priest injected life into the later scenes, and Keir Mulcahey as the Old Abbot made the most of his hilarious lines about reincarnation. Harry Twining as the King brought elements of dark humour in his conversation with Death, while Niamh Hanns played a prostitute flirting with the Grim Reaper himself, getting some of the biggest laughs of the night. It would be a disservice not to mention that classic character of any Pratchett novel – Death himself, played by John Duffett; he announced such one-liners as 'Let’s mingle!' and 'Have a chip!' in the doom-laden voice of the Grim Reaper to great acclaim. His every entrance, clad head to toe in black with a huge hood obscuring his face, was met with laughter and it is a testament to his vocal talent that his character was easily conveyed without ever showing his face...
"Any script that calls for its characters to freeze time, summon Death and cross into the afterlife (often all within a short space of time) has to take some liberties with stagecraft; credit should go to the tech team for their use of lighting and sound during the numerous deaths that took place onstage. Some of the scenes were a little chaotic at times, and others were hilarious for their sheer ridiculousness – six men running onstage summoning Death by chanting at high speed is not something I’ll forget in a hurry – but this all added to the comedic nature of the performance. A few first night mishaps did not go unnoticed, but the actors pushed on in good faith and the audience only laughed more when someone fell over or had to move into the spotlight..."
https://www.durhamstudenttheatre.org/reviews/review-mort/
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05) IMAGES OF THE MONTH
So... does Rob Halford, legendary lead singer of Judas Priest, remind you of someone we know? Possibly a case could be made for the hashtag #separatedatbirth:
https://bit.ly/2NWg1pd
A lovely shot of Crowley and Aziraphale in pre-modern times, from the forthcoming series:
https://pbs.twimg.com/card_img/1103296199602384898/ZreA7yb4?format=jpg&name=600x314
The Broken Drum, as imagined by the North Herts Museum for the recent Discworld and Beyond Paul Kidby exhibition:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dy4uEsgXgAE8XEM.jpg
A few Kidby masterpieces from the soon to be published illustrated Good Omens! Crowley:
http://goodomensillustrated.com/management/wp-content/themes/celestium/assets/images/crowley.jpg
...and Aziraphale:
http://goodomensillustrated.com/management/wp-content/themes/celestium/assets/images/aziraphale.jpg
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06) CLOSE
And that's it for the moment. Normal Wossname is expected to return next month. Take care, and don't forget to start planning your Good Omens parties!
– Annie Mac
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The End. If you have any questions or requests, write: wossname-owner (at) pearwood (dot) info
Copyright (c) 2019 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
March 2019 (Volume 22, Issue 1, Post 1)
********************************************************************
WOSSNAME is a free publication offering news, reviews, and all the other stuff-that-fits pertaining to the works of Sir Terry Pratchett. Originally founded by the late, great Joe Schaumburger for members of the worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates, including the North American Discworld Society and other continental groups, Wossname is now for Discworld and Pratchett fans everywhere in Roundworld.
********************************************************************
Editor in Chief: Annie Mac
News Editor: Vera P
Newshounds: Mogg, Sir J of Croydon Below, the Shadow, Mss C, Alison not Aliss
Staff Writers: Asti, Pitt the Elder, Evil Steven Dread, Mrs Wynn-Jones
Staff Technomancer: Jason Parlevliet
Book Reviews: Annie Mac, Drusilla D'Afanguin, Your Name Here
Puzzle Editor: Tiff (still out there somewhere)
Bard in Residence: Weird Alice Lancrevic
Emergency Staff: Steven D'Aprano, Jason Parlevliet
World Membership Director: Steven D'Aprano (in his copious spare time)
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
INDEX:
01) QUOTES OF THE MONTH
02) EDITOR'S LETTER
03) ODDS AND SODS
04) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
05) IMAGES OF THE MONTH
06) CLOSE
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
01) QUOTE OF THE MONTH
"It's totally bonkers. Because Neil Gaiman adapted it and is showrunner, the oddness isn't diluted at all. Terry charged Neil with getting it made, almost as his deathbed wish, so it’s a real labour of love. The whole thing is dedicated to Terry's memory. His hat was at the script read-through."
-- David "Crowley" Tennant on angels, demons and headwear, interviewed in The Guardian, 10th February 2019
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
02) A LETTER FROM YOUR EDITOR
Greetings, O faithful readers, and welcome to the first post of 2019, aka the Year of the Incontrovertible Skunk! I was planning to extend my much-needed break into April, but there are some things that deserve to not wait.
Also, the fourth anniversary of the death of Sir Terry Pratchett is upon us tomorrow. I don't know about you, but I intend to raise a glass of the closest thing Roundworld has to scumble in his memory and honour. Then again, we at the Fortress of Wossname tend to honour his memory almost every day... although not normally with scumble...
There are some Discworld (and other Pratchett) books I re-read at least once a year, others that I re-read at much longer intervals. At this point in 2019 I think I've probably re-read the entire series at least four times; if I'm still around in, say, 2039 I hope to have added significantly to that number. And for all that I remember each book very well, I am surprised and delighted, each time I re-read one, by a detail here or a plot point or dialogue exchange there. At the moment I'm two-thirds of the way through Reaper Man for the manyth time and falling in love with the painfully innocent Bill Door all over again.
So on this date, let us all give thanks to an uncaring universe that Terence David John Pratchett lived among us and continues to brighten our lives with his body of work. And again, in his honour, I hereunder re-publish Weird Alice Lancrevic's parodic paean, The Love Song of TDJ Pratchett with Apologies to TS Eliot:
Let us go then, you and I,
When the Rimfall is spread out against the sky
Like a victim on Quetzovercoatl's altar
Let us go, through certain dark Ankh-Morpork streets,
As Cumbling Michael bleats
Of restless nights in Elm Street's cheap bedsits
And Harga's restaurant with greasy chips
Streets that follow like a Fools' Guild argument
Of a humorous intent
To lead you to an overt wealth of... footnotes!
Oh, do not play Greek Chorus
Let us go and dance Dark Morris.
In the room the wizards come, unseen
Talking of thaumic octarine.
The Morpork smog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The river-fug that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes,
Licked its tongue into the corners of the Bucket,
Lingered upon the gargoyles guarding drains,
Let fall upon its back the black of lithe Assassins,
Slipped by the terrace, writhed round Sator Square,
And seeing that it was a soft Sektober night,
Curled once around the Tump, and fell asleep.
And indeed there will be crime
Under Ankh-born fumes that slide down Easy Street,
Rubbing grey-black upon the window-panes; Disc-ing itself
There will be crime, and barely time
To prepare a voucher for the Thieves that you may meet;
There will be time to say the number Eight,
And time for all Devices wrought by dwarfs
That lift this brawling City toward its fate;
Time for Schleppel, time for Reg,
And time yet for an Igor's deft incisions,
And for a Sweeper's history revisions,
Before the taking of meat and two veg.
In the room the wizards come, unseen
Making a joke about the Dean.
And indeed there will be time
To wonder, 'Do I dare? Will Vimes go spare?'
Time to turn back Time and deeds repair,
With P.L.T. making horrors of my hair—
[They will say: 'How she stoops, to wear the tin!']
My armoured breasts, my collar fastened firmly 'neath my chin,
My pedigree's the oddest, but blue-blooded via lupine kin—
[They will say: 'But she's a vegetarian!']
Do I dare
Disturb the multiverse?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which the Moon will soon reverse.
For I have known the grags already, known them all—
Have known the meetings, mineshafts, Ankhian ruins,
I have squandered all my gold in greasy spoons;
I know the old life's dying, like an axe's fall
Beneath the bustle under cellar rooms.
So should I mention Koom?
And I have known the toffs already, known them all—
The eyes that damn you with a far too inbred phrase,
And when I am relegated, tossed like Mr Pin,
When I am told 'No comment!' by Lord Rust,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all Spike's butt-ends from the Golem Trust?
And how should I presume?
And I have known the 'girls' already, known them all—
Arms of that painted Guild, pale, white and calm
(But in the lamplight, best of Mrs Palm's!)
Is it scumble from a dish
That makesh me shpeak like thish?
Arms that twine around a client, or cap a maiden's fall.
And should I rent a room?
How soon should I dig in?
. . . . .
Shall I say, I have lurked at dusk in Morpork's streets
And watched the Clacks that clatter from the roofs
Midst lonely geeks with code-books, changing shifts in towers? . . .
I should have been a cruel wild banshee's claws
Scuttling between the Trouserlegs of Time.
. . . . .
And 'til well past noon, Young Sam will sleep so peacefully!
Smooth is his breathing,
Asleep . . . tired . . . or merely teething
Safe in his bed, here beside you and me.
Should I, after teetotal libations,
Have the strength to foil yet more assassinations?
But though I have cursed and shouted, growled and coughed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] fetch ever higher prices
I am no genius — but I'm cool in crisis;
I have seen the sternest of my Watchmen flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Death of Rats go SNH, and snicker,
And in short, I was pissed off.
And would it have been worth it all, and sweet,
After millennium hand and shrimp for tea,
Among the Faculty, among some talk of Sourcery,
Would it have been worth while
To endure Ridcully's hassling with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe's rubber sheet
To roll it toward some thaumic insurrection,
To say: 'We are wizardry's future, come have fun
'Come HEX me up a treat, H.E.M. is neat!'
If one, scoffing a sausage inna bun,
Should say: 'That is not what I meant to eat.
'That is not real named meat.'
And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the battles and the broadswords and the trampled thrones,
After the sagas, after the horse cheese, after the skirts I chased
from Rim to Hub—
And dine-chewers for my grub?—
It is 'barbarian' to say just what I mean!
But seen by a magic lantern through a silken Agatean screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, scuttling a Dark Lord or storming Io's gate
To turn larks into legends, should say:
'That's not a hero's fate,
'That's not a deathless hero's fate.'
No! I am not King Verence, nor was meant to be;
I'm just a tender Tomjon, one who'll do
To thrill the punters, steal a scene or two
Advise the prince; he jingles, but he's cool,
Deferential to the senior Ogg
Mildly thick, gracious, and fond of his wife;
Full of high purpose, but a bit agog;
At times, indeed, a cliche brought to life—
Almost a perfect Fool.
I grow old . . . I grow old . . .
I shall yet wear midnight when the nights are cold.
Shall I shout 'Io's not blind!'? Do I dare to speak of Klatch?
I shall wear black pointy headgear, and fly on brooms of thatch
I have heard the Beggars, canting to the Watch.
I do not think that they will beg from me.
We have seen young vampires gliding past the Moon
Combing the land for humans to attack
Venting their blood-lust stylishly in black.
We have lingered on the shambling Circumfence
By sea-trolls wreathed with foam against the sky
Till Great A'Tuin takes us, and we fly.
– Annie Mac, Editor
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03) ODDS AND SODS
3.1 GOOD OMENS: THE FULL TRAILER
As released on 6th March and already viewed many times!
https://youtu.be/hUJoR4vlIIs
3.2 THE ILLUSTRATED GOOD OMENS IS ALMOST HERE!
"The iconic fantasy novel from Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman becomes definitive! First published in 1990, translated into multiple languages and released in numerous editions across the world, Good Omens has spawned a BBC radio series and now a primetime television series from Amazon Studios and BBC Worldwide. Illustrated for the first time by artist and longterm Pratchett-collaborator Paul Kidby, using a new definitive text, agreed by Neil Gaiman and the Terry Pratchett Estate, these five editions represent the ultimate culmination of the imaginations of the UK’s two foremost fantasy authors."
You can pre-order through Discworld.com or PaulKidby.com. The standard hardcover and standard slipcase editions will be published on 4th April 2019; the Occult, Ineffable and Celestial editions will follow on 20th June 2019, although there's a disclaimer saying "Production time for the Celestial Edition will vary" -- understandable, as you'll see when you read the description below! Please note that prices listed below are "recommended" and may be higher.
In standard hardcover, 234 x 153mm: "Hardback with 12 colour illustrations and 5 pencil illustrations." Priced at £30 each.
...and standard slipcase, same size: "Slipcase hardback with 12 colour illustrations and 5 black and white illustrations. Numbered tipped-in sheet signed by Paul Kidby.' Priced at £75 each.
The Occult edition, 305 x 230mm: 'Hardback in a clamshell box, with metallic red page edges, 17 colour illustrations with additional pencil illustrations. Numbered tipped-in sheet signed by Paul Kidby." Limited to 1655 copies and priced at £95.
The Ineffable edition, same size: "Hardback in a deluxe presentation box, with gold page edges, 17 colour illustrations with additional pencil illustrations. Numbered tipped-in sheet signed by Neil Gaiman & Paul Kidby. Separate folio of Good Omens ephemera." Limited to, yes, 666 copies and priced at £295.
And last but definitely not least, the Celestial edition, also same size: "Leather-bound hardback in an artisan presentation box, with gold foil page edges, 17 colour illustrations with additional pencil illustrations. Each copy individually hand-printed and bound. Named tipped-in sheets, each corresponding to a letter of the Greek alphabet, signed by Neil Gaiman & Paul Kidby. Separate folio of Good Omens ephemera." Limited to 24 copies and priced at... well, you have to ask!
For more information, and to order, go to: http://goodomensillustrated.com/
And speaking of Paul Kidby, this is from his website:
The Terry Pratchett: HisWorld exhibition at the museum ultimately raised "substantial funds... which will be donated to RICE (The Research Institute for the Care of Older People) in Bath. When the HisWorld exhibition opened at the museum in September 2017, a special little blue book was created to accompany it. The book 'Terry Pratchett: HisWorld – A Brief Guide to Discworld' was compiled by writer Stephen Briggs, with illustrations by Paul Kidby... The decision was taken by the Estate of Sir Terry Pratchett before the exhibition opened, that 50% of the proceeds from the blue book sales would be donated to RICE, in honour of Sir Terry. By the time the exhibition closed on 14 January, it had been visited by over 21,000 people. Sales of the book were incredible and as a result £20,000 has been raised for this fantastic institution..."
https://www.paulkidby.com/20000-raised-for-rice/
3.3 A FEW NOTES
* A selection from Leonie Holmes' Dance of the Wintersmith, as featured in several issues last year, can be seen and heard at https://bit.ly/2J3l1JZ (the video link is about 1/3 of the way down the page).
* Nullus Anxietas 7 (the Australian Discworld convention) will take place next month on 12th–14th April at Mantra Bell City, 215 Bell Street, Preston, Victoria 3072. This year's theme is Going Postal. Tickets are still available at https://ausdwcon.org/shop/
* The Irish Discworld Convention will be held at the end of this month, starting on the 29th and featuring an Uberwald Sektoberfest theme. Memberships are sold out but it's still worth checking their website in case any become available at the last minute: http://2019.idwcon.org/
* The Broken Drummers in London will change their normal first Monday of the month schedule for next month (April). Due to the Irish Discworld convention taking place then, the Drummers' April meeting will be on the second Monday, which is 8th April. Some further updates from organised Helen: "In the meantime, we have a trip to Westminster Abbey on 16th March. Tickets can be bought at https://tickets.westminster-abbey.org/wa.ticketing/ . It is £20 per ticket and £5 for the gallery museum. Book the 9:00-11:00 slot for the abbey (we are meeting at 10am) and the 11:00-11:15 slot for the museum. It is probably possible to buy tickets on the day but I recommend advanced booking. Next some of us are going to a special Life of Brian screening at the Victoria Curzon on 18th April at 18:15. Tickets can be bought at https://wewantbrian.com/?fbclid=IwAR0c9NzkY1qW27HaO3_DiQTx9ll7qjeC1yk0Z5xIQHmDLYsq0tA435cECcs ...Marina has bought tickets for those who have confirmed but that does not stop others joining us." Oh, and the Drummers are considering organising a Drummers Paintball. The faculty of UU would definitely approve!
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04) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
Editor's note: as Wossname normally only comes out once every month, do check the Wossname blog for information on plays that might fall between issue dates! Go to https://wossname.dreamwidth.org/ for interim updates.
4.1 FORTHCOMING PRODUCTIONS
* WYRD SISTERS IN GLOUCESTERSHIRE (MARCH)
TADS (Tewkesbury Arts and Drama Society) will be staging their production of Wyrd Sisters this month! Both performance days feature a matinee and an evening show.
When: 23rd–24th March 2019
Venue: the Roses Theatre, Sun Street, Tewkesbury, Glos GL20 5NX
Time: 23rd March at 2.30pm and 7.30pm; 24th March at 2pm and 6pm
Tickets: £14, available from the Roses Theatre Box Office at http://www.rosestheatre.org/
http://www.tads.org.uk/index.html
* MORT IN WALSALL (APRIL)
The Fellowship Players will stage their production of Mort next month!
When: 3rd–14th April 2019
Venue: Grange Playhouse, Broadway North, Walsall, West Midlands WS1 2QB
Time: 7.45pm all shows (note: no performance on the 6th)
Tickets: £10, available from the box office (01922 630495), online at https://www.ticketsource.co.uk/fellowship-players or by post by printing off the booking form and sending it with a Self-Addressed Envelope and cheque made payable to "The Fellowship Players" to The Fellowship Players, 24 Sutton Road, Walsall, WS1 2PD
https://fellowship-players.co.uk/
* WYRD SISTERS IN EAST SUSSEX (MAY)
Crowborough Community Centre will present "a hilarious stage version of Terry Pratchett’s classic novel" Wyrd Sisters in May. It's their first-ever Discworld play!
When: 10th–11th May 2019
Venue: Crowborough Community Centre, Pine Grove, Crowborough, East Sussex TN6
Time: 7.45pm all evening shows: also, 2.30pm matinee on the 11th
Tickets: £9.50 (£8 concessions), available online at https://www.ticketsource.co.uk/thecrowboroughplayers or by ringing 01892 300 567
"There is no age restriction, so younger children are welcome but note that, unlike our pantomimes, the production isn't aimed at a younger audience. Any questions, email crowborough.tickets@gmail.com or call 01892 300567."
https://crowborough.weebly.com/spring-play1.html
* WYRD SISTERS IN SUFFOLK (MAY)
The Deben Players, an amateur company that has been presenting plays for over 50 years, will stage Wyrd Sisters in May. It's a Discworld first for them as well!
When: 22nd–25th May 2019
Venue: Seckford Theatre, Burkitt Road, Woodbridge, Suffolk IP12 4JJ
Time: 7.30pm all shows
Tickets: £12 (£10 concessions), available online at http://debenplayers.net/tickets
https://debenplayers.net
4.2 REVIEWS
* MORT IN DURHAM
A long and detailed review by Aaron Rozanski on Palatinate.org:
"Whilst Ooook’s latest production of 'Mort' may have lacked the grace and perfection of Pratchett’s infamous creative vision, it undoubtedly embraced the eccentricity vital to the ‘Discworld’ saga... for the most part I found the experience jovial. The majority of this should be attributed to the cast, who embody the endless canon of quirky creatures impressively. John Duffett as the infamous 'Death' holds the room with his classically handsome voice, with his deadpan comedic delivery earning the most genuine laughs of the evening. Despite never seeing the face behind the honey-glazed tones, Duffett manages to create a character with depth and emotional range, which is no easy feat, especially whilst Death tackles the hellish equivalent of menopause. Alistair Hall captures the nervous energy and manic aura of Mort, providing a wonderful counterpart to Duffett’s booming brilliance. Whilst he occasionally struggles with aspects of his character, specifically in displaying the internal turmoil within Mort towards the end of the play, the majority of his performance is nuanced and effective... Pratchett demands actors to embrace the bizarre, urging them to feel ridiculous in their performances, as this is the only way for the play to come across as deliberately quirky and not accidentally tacky. However, the overall energy and dedication to the mania created a cast Pratchett would have been proud of. I found myself saddened, however, that the majority of the jokes fell flat with the audience. Therefore, greater time needed to be taken at key plot points to ensure people could follow, and actors needed to deliver certain speeches with more care...
"The music is perfect, capturing the fantastical feeling of the narrative, and never seems to overbear the performances. Once again, I was unsure why it was used to link some scenes and not others, as it provided the perfect connector as we travelled around the Discworld. The costumes are outstanding, and the apparently never-ending colourful wardrobe draws us into the world of fantasy like no charity shop ever has. Overall, it could be easy to criticise the imperfections of Ooook's latest production. However, it was impossible not to feel affection for the wonder and ambition of 'Mort'. The spectacular cast carried a script of potential hilarity, and with greater care and refinement, there is no reason this play could not be deathly amusing..."
https://www.palatinate.org.uk/review-mort/
...also reviewed by Imogen Isherwood on the Durham Student Theatre website:
"It is very much a play of cameos; between them, the nineteen-strong cast present an array of minor characters whose absurdities bounce off the protagonists with real energy. Matt Redmond shines as the Doorknocker (and not just because his face was painted gold), and carried his brilliant comic timing into his second role as the excitable Rincewind. Ed Cook as the bumbling High Priest injected life into the later scenes, and Keir Mulcahey as the Old Abbot made the most of his hilarious lines about reincarnation. Harry Twining as the King brought elements of dark humour in his conversation with Death, while Niamh Hanns played a prostitute flirting with the Grim Reaper himself, getting some of the biggest laughs of the night. It would be a disservice not to mention that classic character of any Pratchett novel – Death himself, played by John Duffett; he announced such one-liners as 'Let’s mingle!' and 'Have a chip!' in the doom-laden voice of the Grim Reaper to great acclaim. His every entrance, clad head to toe in black with a huge hood obscuring his face, was met with laughter and it is a testament to his vocal talent that his character was easily conveyed without ever showing his face...
"Any script that calls for its characters to freeze time, summon Death and cross into the afterlife (often all within a short space of time) has to take some liberties with stagecraft; credit should go to the tech team for their use of lighting and sound during the numerous deaths that took place onstage. Some of the scenes were a little chaotic at times, and others were hilarious for their sheer ridiculousness – six men running onstage summoning Death by chanting at high speed is not something I’ll forget in a hurry – but this all added to the comedic nature of the performance. A few first night mishaps did not go unnoticed, but the actors pushed on in good faith and the audience only laughed more when someone fell over or had to move into the spotlight..."
https://www.durhamstudenttheatre.org/reviews/review-mort/
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05) IMAGES OF THE MONTH
So... does Rob Halford, legendary lead singer of Judas Priest, remind you of someone we know? Possibly a case could be made for the hashtag #separatedatbirth:
https://bit.ly/2NWg1pd
A lovely shot of Crowley and Aziraphale in pre-modern times, from the forthcoming series:
https://pbs.twimg.com/card_img/1103296199602384898/ZreA7yb4?format=jpg&name=600x314
The Broken Drum, as imagined by the North Herts Museum for the recent Discworld and Beyond Paul Kidby exhibition:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dy4uEsgXgAE8XEM.jpg
A few Kidby masterpieces from the soon to be published illustrated Good Omens! Crowley:
http://goodomensillustrated.com/management/wp-content/themes/celestium/assets/images/crowley.jpg
...and Aziraphale:
http://goodomensillustrated.com/management/wp-content/themes/celestium/assets/images/aziraphale.jpg
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06) CLOSE
And that's it for the moment. Normal Wossname is expected to return next month. Take care, and don't forget to start planning your Good Omens parties!
– Annie Mac
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The End. If you have any questions or requests, write: wossname-owner (at) pearwood (dot) info
Copyright (c) 2019 by Klatchian Foreign Legion
