WOSSNAME -- Main issue -- October 2014

Wossname
Newsletter of the Klatchian Foreign Legion
October 2014 (Volume 17, Issue 10, Post 1)

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WOSSNAME is a free publication offering news, reviews, and all the other stuff-that-fits pertaining to the works and activities of Sir Terry Pratchett. Originally founded by the late, great Joe Schaumburger for members of the worldwide Klatchian Foreign Legion and its affiliates, including the North American Discworld Society and other continental groups, Wossname is now for Discworld and Pratchett fans everywhere in Roundworld.
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Editor in Chief: Annie Mac
News Editor: Vera P
Newshounds: Mogg, Sir J of Croydon Below, the Shadow, Wolfiekins
Staff Writers: Asti, Pitt the Elder, Evil Steven Dread, Mrs Wynn-Jones
Staff Technomancers: Jason Parlevliet, Archchancellor Neil, DJ Helpful
Book Reviews: Annie Mac, Drusilla D'Afanguin, Your Name Here
Puzzle Editor: Tiff (still out there somewhere)
Bard in Residence: Weird Alice Lancrevic
Emergency Staff: Steven D'Aprano, Jason Parlevliet
World Membership Director: Steven D'Aprano (in his copious spare time)

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INDEX:

01) QUOTES OF THE MONTH
02) EDITOR'S LETTER
03) ODDS AND SODS
04) WOSSNAME REVIEWS DRAGONS AT CRUMBLING CASTLE, AND MRS BRADSHAW'S GUIDE
05) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS
06) DISCWORLD CONVENTION NEWS
07) DISCWORLD MEETING GROUPS NEWS
08) DISCWORLD ARTS AND CRAFTS NEWS
09) DISCWORLD LEGO NEEDS YOU!
10) ROUNDWORLD TALES: WITCHES, POSTMEN, AND AN AWFUL LOT OF BEER
11) IMAGES OF THE MONTH
12) CLOSE

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01) QUOTE OF THE MONTH

"This isn't the proper way to go exploring! You can't just take someone's wife along!"

– "The Abominable Snowman", from Dragons at Crumbling Castle

"One person in six has poor literacy in the UK – below the level expected of an 11-year-old, which will hold them back at every stage in their life. In these challenging economic times the need to address the national literacy challenge has never been more urgent and we're thrilled that with the vital funds raised by Books about Town, the National Literacy Trust can continue to make a difference in the UK's poorest communities, raising levels of literacy and opening up new opportunities."

– Jonathan Douglas, Director of the National Literacy Trust, which will benefit from the sale of Paul Kidby's Ookbench

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02) LETTER FROM YOUR EDITOR

It's that time of Roundworld year again, when young witches, wizards, zombies and all manner of other life- and unlife-forms come out of the woodwork and strike terror into the hearts of adults, or at least party down and solicit donations of sweet treats. And there's a new Halloween tradition that has sprung up over the past few years, namely the presenting of adaptations of Wyrd Sisters on stages near and far (see section five for some details). Also do check out this month's Roundworld Tales for some history of our own world's witches, and how the image of an 'orrible old crone came to symbolise them. And of course, The Cunning Artificers at Discworld Emporium also have some goodies for Halloween and Hogswatch – see section eigh-, I mean 7+1.

The "official" Wossname reviews of Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook and Dragons at Crumbling Castle can be found in section four. Both publications are highly recommended.

SF-geek website io9 wants to see Cripple Mr Onion come to Roundworld. The classic Disworld card game with its eight-suited card deck is number six on their ten-strong list of imaginary games from SF and fantasy media that they want to see in the real world:

"Trust Terry Pratchett to come up with his own absurdly quirky take on card games. Like many of the card games on this list, the fantastically named Cripple Mr. Onion (which first appeared in Wyrd Sisters) is essentially quite similar to Poker, except that players are dealt 10 cards, 5 face up, 5 face down, and must construct a winning set of cards in numerical order - with wonderful names like Triple Onion or a Bagel - or fold..."

http://bit.ly/1wD9Kz3

I hope the new, non-Yahoo, non-uppercase Wossname is going well for you, O Readers. It's certainly less stressful to produce and send! Now if we could only have fewer Hex breakdowns here in Wossname Central, life would be grand...

It's a packed issue this month, so on with the show!

– Annie Mac, Editor

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03) ODDS AND SODS

An eclectic assortment this month. Enjoy!

3.1 DEFEND A BOOK AND WIN PRATCHETT GOODIES!

There's still time to win if you write quickly...

"Ook! The Library in Ankh-Morpork is on fire. Even the long-limbed, agile Librarian will have time to save only one volume from the conflagration, and, as he's squatting near the science-fiction and fantasy sections, the surviving book must come from there. We'd like you to tell us, in a review of no more than 500 words, which book it ought to be.

"Entries should be emailed to enquiries@thegreatbritishbookshop.co.uk, using SFcomp as the heading. Judges of the competition will include Marc Gascoigne MD & Publisher, Angry Robot Ltd, and our very own David Birkett. We'll publish a selection of the book review entries, and the winner will receive this exclusive print signed by Sir Terry Pratchett and the Discworld artist Paul Kidby, the latter of whom created the amazing BookBench that we sponsored as part of the Books about Town campaign. The winner and four runners-up will also receive paperbacks of Sir Terry Pratchett's Wee Free Men and Going Postal, signed by the author and Paul Kidby.

"Entries should be received by midnight on the 31st October 2014.

"In summary, how to enter...

"1. Choose your favourite Sci-Fi or Fantasy novel.

"2. Write your review in no more than 500 words about the book and the reason it should be saved from the fire..

"3. Send your entry to enquiries@thegreatbritishbookshop.co.uk by midnight on the 31st October 2014, using SFcomp as the heading.

"4. Sit back and wait for our wonderful judges to decide if your book will be saved from the fire."

https://www.thegreatbritishbookshop.co.uk/win-discworld-print


3.2 DRAGONS AT CRUMBLING CASTLE COLLECTORS EDITION!

"A limited edition, deluxe slipcase version of collected short stories by master storyteller Sir Terry Pratchett, featuring dragons, dinosaurs, cavemen and car races! Fully illustrated and including a special foreword by Terry Pratchett plus two bonus stories; critical commentaries to accompany each story; limited-edition colour print; and additional content."

Priced at £25.00, from the Discworld Emporium:

http://bit.ly/1zKZ2fh


3.3 RAISING STEAM ORIGINS

From the Waterstones Books blog comes a long and loving post by Suzanne Bridson (an editor at Terry Pratchett's publishers) about Sir Pterry's real-world inspirations for Raising Steam:

"Anyone who has ever read a Discworld novel knows that despite being flat, and travelling through space on the back of a giant turtle (and being inhabited by dwarfs and trolls) Terry Pratchett's world is in many ways a mirror image of our own... But if you look beneath the surface of a Discworld novel, past the most obvious jokes, there are layers and layers more of real-world influences creeping in, which is what makes Discworld feel so familiar a place, despite all the magic. They are cleverly woven together from snippets of knowledge gleaned here there and everywhere by an author who has seen a lot, done a lot, and who as a child set out to read his way through the library, and hasn't stopped since...

"Steam trains are undeniably imported from the real world, or as Discworld aficionados would call it, Roundworld. But there are steam trains and there are steam trains – and Terry's are solidly grounded in history and all those books he's read (this resulted in a very specific brief for his cover designer). The Raising Steam train, Iron Girder, ends up bearing a close resemblance to the Lion locomotive that plied the first passenger line between Liverpool and Manchester. (Lion later starred in a 1953 comedy film, The Titfield Thunderbolt, seen and loved by Terry and still highly recommended by him, if you haven't come across it – it's no coincidence that a character in Raising Steam bears the name Thunderbolt, and in fact one of the earliest stories Terry ever wrote, for a local paper as a teenager, was the steam-powered tale of Humphrey Newt and the Thunderbolt Carriage.) However, Iron Girder evolves – in one single train she embodies years and years' worth of work by numerous inventors and engineers...

"Look beyond the trains themselves to their destinations and passengers and the Roundworld parallels pop up again. The most exotic train journey operating in Discworld (so far) is the Altiplano Express through the mountains to the bandit country of Zemphis, and beyond to the dwarf mines in Uberwald. Real altiplano trains exist, though in reduced numbers these days, on the high altitude plains of South America, where they were built in part to service the lucrative mining operations of the 19th and early 20th centuries. One such line runs to the edge of Lake Titicaca, where there are floating villages built on islands artificially created by their inhabitants from the reeds and mud of the lake. Not unlike, some might say, the raft people of the Netherglades in Raising Steam (though the villagers of Lake Titicaca certainly don't have webbed feet). Traversing every one of these routes across the Disc is Georgina Bradshaw, a train enthusiast and compiler of useful information for the intrepid yet respectable traveller. Her real world counterpart is of course George Bradshaw, whose Victorian railway guides remain popular today.."

An excellent piece, well worth reading in its entirety!

http://bit.ly/1wD96Bv

3.4 THE OOKBENCH RAISES A GOODLY SUM

£8,000 was raised by the sale of the Ookbench! Paul Kidby's fantastic bench was one of the top ten fundraising items at the official auction:

"A collection of literary-inspired benches were recently sold at auction to raise money for the National Literacy Trust. A public auction was held on October 7 at the Southbank Centre, with some pieces selling for a near-five figure sum. Proceeds will help to raise literacy levels amongst disadvantaged children in the UK. The 50 unique BookBenches were designed by a selection of local and renowned artists, including many of the books' original illustrators. Originally scattered across London during the summer, they pay homage to such celebrated literary minds as Oscar Wilde, Virginia Woolf and Dr Seuss...."

For the record, the most successful individual item was the Jeeves and Wooster bench, which raised £9500. A good pair!

http://bit.ly/1xOKXZC

"After 10 weeks on a public art trail in London, the National Literacy Trust's 50 BookBench sculptures designed by famous artists, children's illustrators and prominent local artists, went to auction on Tuesday 7 October 2014. Hosted auctioneer Edward Rising in association with Sotheby's and attended by a host of illustrious literary names from Joanna Trollope to Children's Laureate Malorie Blackman, the Books about Town auction was an absolutely fantastic evening which raised £251,500...

"The National Literacy Trust is dedicated to raising literacy levels in the UK. Our research and analysis makes us the leading authority on literacy and informs our work. We work with schools, run literacy projects in disadvantaged communities and campaign to make literacy a priority for politicians and parents. The Books about Town public art trails launched by the National Literacy Trust and Wild in Art in July, attracted thousands of visitors over the summer. The 51 unique BookBench sculptures were based on a range of iconic books from treasured children's stories such as The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and Peter Pan to classic adult titles including 1984 and The Day of the Triffids. The initiative celebrated the joy of books and reading while giving people the chance to admire beautiful works of art, created by local artists and famous names..."

http://bit.ly/1tJkuc6

3.5 REVIEWS: A SLIP OF THE KEYBOARD

by David Barnett in The Independent:

"Pratchett cuts an affable figure both in print and real life – whether he's turning up for a convention devoted to his phenomenally successful Discworld comic fantasy series, or attending a TV panel debate on dignity in dying, he's never without his black hat and neatly trimmed white beard. It's wrong, though, to mistake his popular image for the be-all and end-all of the man himself, who emerges as, yes, likeable but also complex and angry... it is the essays, articles and journalism collected under the heading 'Days of Rage' which really open up Pratchett's character. A vocal proponent for a change in the assisted dying laws, yes, but also commentary on NHS funding (he was refused a £2.50 Alzheimer’s drug because he was too young) and the plight of the orang-utans. That isn't to say that there isn't a lot of fun in this book – it includes after-dinner speeches he can't remember if he actually made, not because of the Alzheimer's, but because of the late hour and the drink..."

http://bit.ly/1w9ZXCm

By Alex Sarll in The Northern Echo:

"Like any journalism collection, it's not something to be read straight through, being far better suited to occasional dipping. Not every piece has aged well; particularly baffling is the decision to include, as the second item, a 20-year-old look at the state of portable computing (spoiler: back then, not terribly portable). Even the better light pieces, amusing though many are, are more likely to please existing fans than make new ones. But the angrier pieces towards the end, on disease, dying and the barbaric British prohibition on euthanasia, are essential stuff..."

http://bit.ly/ZKdDr0

By Jennifer Kuan on Neontommy:

"Pratchett's writing is witty and engaging, but Gaiman makes it clear that Pratchett has a 'foundation of fury' in him as well that belies the picture on the cover of the book. With over 40 titles in his "Discworld" series and other books for readers of all ages Pratchett has quite the extensive publishing history, but this will be his first foray into nonfiction. "A Slip of the Keyboard: Collected Nonfiction" is a collection of essays, speeches and lectures compiled from the duration of Pratchett's career... As a fantasy writer, many of Pratchett's writings focus on the genre—both defending it and discussing how to do it well. His essays also include insights into the excitement and exhaustion of signing tours. While Pratchett does not consider himself to be an author in the true sense, it is clear that writing is Pratchett's passion. Even if he never were to publish a book, Pratchett attests that he would still write every day...

"Pratchett notes that almost all readers know the tropes of the genre: dragons, elves, wizards, dwarfs, magic. According to him, the best fantasy writers "change the rules by which the world works and then write very carefully and logically by those rules." Rather than relying on these tropes to keep the story engaging, Pratchett suggests contemplating "how the wizards are dealing with the challenge of genetically modified dragons, and what the dwarfs are doing to stamp out racial harassment of gnomes" — in short, taking social issues and applying them to the writer's carefully structured world...

In [the] final section, Pratchett proves that he can handle serious topics with the same deftness with which he writes comedy and fantasy. His essays and speeches are honest, poignant and sometimes, as suggested by the title and Gaiman's introduction, rageful. He will be sorely missed when he goes not-so-gentle into that good night. Pratchett's book is the rare and valuable kind that simultaneously inspires, astounds and intimidates readers, especially those that aspire to have a similar career. He inspires because he has true passion for and belief in his work; he plans to continue writing until his dying day. He astounds because at one point, he would write 400 words each day, and if one day, he finished a novel in only 300 words, he would write 100 words of the next one. He intimidates because of the manner in which he inspires and astounds..."

http://bit.ly/1rdWDzl

3.6 TIFFANY ACHING IS A MIGHTY GIRL!

A Mighty Girl, "the world's largest collection of books, toys, and movies for parents, teachers, and others dedicated to raising smart, confident, and courageous girls", offered The Wee Free Men as their Pick of the Day:

"The Wee Free Men" by Terry Pratchett. Nine-year-old Tiffany Aching takes care of her irritating brother, reads everything she can find, makes delicious cheese on her father's farm, and has decided to be a witch. Her courage, clear-sightedness, and competence in wielding a frying pan prove to the witches in Fairyland that she was indeed born a witch, and a powerful one at that..."

https://www.facebook.com/NADWCon/posts/692739334155847
http://www.amightygirl.com/

3.7 PTERRY INTRO FOR SECRET WORLD BOOK

"The founder of the Secret World Wildlife Rescue charity, Pauline Kidner, hosted a book signing to celebrate her fourth book, titled A Place of Safety. The book follows the latest chapter in the ongoing success of East Huntspill-based Secret World, and Pauline's joys and sorrows working with wildlife. Sir Terry Pratchett has shown his support for the book by writing a foreword and it has been endorsed by nature photographer and television presenter, Chris Packham. The book tells the story of how Secret World grew from a former tourist attraction into a rescue centre that takes in 5,000 animals a year."

From This is the West Country:

"Pauline told the Weekly News: 'It has been 25 years since the arrival of the first badger cubs here at Secret World and it's been quite a journey for everyone involved since the creation of the charity. I never would have dreamed the charity would have grown so big. It's amazing how nature still surprises you after all these years – even now we have a very young fallow fawn which is so late as they usually are born in June. I am so lucky to have close contact with such beautiful and sometimes rare creatures.'"

http://bit.ly/1vvc4tl

3.8 DISCWORLD MAP APP UPDATES

For those of you who suffer fro-, own iPads, there are some updates to the Mapp App:

"Want to explore the city of Ankh-Morpork? The Discworld App for iPad allows you to zoom in on map features, find Discworld characters walking about, even take 'walking tours'... and it has now been updated!"

http://bit.ly/1te3ajp

The updates include the Ankh-Morpork and Sto Plains Hygienic Railway. Image is available at

http://bit.ly/1pSNKMx

This info comes from the Chicago Discworld Fans on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/chicagodiscworldfans

3.9 REMINDER: GOOD OMENS ON THE WIRELESS

From The Stage:

"Mark Heap and Peter Serafinowicz are to lead the cast of a BBC Radio 4 adaptation of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's Good Omens. The cast for the six-part series – which is about the end of the world – also includes Sherlock actor Louise Brealey, Whitechapel's Phil Davis and Mark Benton, who has appeared in series such as Waterloo Road. They will be joined by Colin Morgan, Paterson Joseph and Josie Lawrence. The book is being adapted and directed by Dirk Maggs, who was behind last year's adaptation of Gaiman's Neverwhere, starring James McAvoy and Benedict Cumberbatch. It is produced by Heather Larmour, with Gaiman assisting...

The adaptation will be broadcast on Radio 4 in December. The exact broadcast dates have not been confirmed, however Radio 4 said five episodes would be aired across a week in 30-minute installments, culminating with a 60-minute finale on a Saturday, just before Woman's Hour."

http://bit.ly/1rV5beW

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04) WOSSNAME REVIEWS: DRAGONS AT CRUMBLING CASTLE, MRS BRADSHAW'S GUIDE

4.1 DRAGONS AT CRUMBLING CASTLE: NOT JUST FOR THE LITTLE ONES

By Annie Mac

I may have mentioned before that certain friends of mine read Pratchett novels aloud to each other at bedtime[1], their favourites being the Tiffany Aching novels or anywhere else the Nac Mac Feegle put in an appearance. With this in mind, I handed them a copy of Dragons at Crumbling Castle for a test drive... and the verdict was a resounding *"YES!!!"* (imagine that response in gazillionty-point type, rather as it would appear in the pages of Dragons at Crumbling Castle itself).

Dragons at Crumbling Castle is no towering example of Great Works of Terry Pratchett, but that doesn't mean anyone should be tempted to dismiss as a throwaway work for Pratchett completists. It stands on its own merit, and can be read in three different ways: as an amusing collection of fractured fairy tales and mild satirical fables; as a fascinating look into Pratchett's evolution as a writer, as well as a glimpse of early ideas for names, places and situations that came to fruition as parts of the Discworld series and other novels; and, of course, as a book of bedtime stories for children.

Dragons at Crumbling Castle contains fourteen stories over 340 pages, including two "new" – which is to say, very old – Carpet People adventures, all ably illustrated by Mark Beech. As with The Carpet People, the young Terry Pratchett shows his talent for twisting things slightly sideways and finding the funny side of serious endeavours. There is much wordplay, with place names that include Even Moor, the Costa Lotta, and Chilistan's capital city Chilblaine. The town of Blackbury, eventually known as the home town of Johnny Maxwell and friends in Pratchett's marvellous YA trilogy, makes its earliest appearance as a "lovely little market town in Gritshire". The county of Gritshire also contains East Slate and Umbridge, all of which appear repeatedly as the settings for many of these stories. There is also a first outing for some names any Discworld fan will recognise – the Stronginthearm family and Alice Band among them. And the concept of the Joke Monks in The Abominable Snowman has a distinctly Discworldish flavour[2]:

"'Hmm,' said Tence, tapping the paper. 'You know what this is, don't you? It's a Joke Wheel. There must be a Joke Monastery up here – and Joke Monks.' He explained: 'You see, they think the world was created as a joke, so everyone should give thanks by having a good laugh. That's why they tie jokes to water wheels. Every time the wheel goes round a joke goes up to heaven.'
"'What singular persons,' said Bill. 'You mean they spend all their time telling jokes?'
"'Yes. They even get up in the middle of the night to invent some more.'
"Someone tapped him on the shoulder. It was a small round man in a blue robe with a bald head and a big grin. Slowly he took a custard pie from one of his voluminous sleeves... It was a curious scene, halfway up the twenty-seventh largest mountain in the world. The monk stood there, laughing, while everyone else looked embarrassed, and Twist stood with custard dripping into his collar. Then there was a green flash, a popping noise, and the monk was gone... 'That was one of them,' said Tence. 'I forgot to add that they can do magic as well.'"

The Abominable Snowman and the title story (the latter as reviewed in September issue) are similarly themed tales of quests for fantastical creatures that turn out to be rather different from what the questers expected. The Great Speck imagines dust motes as microscopic stars and planets and presages The Last Hero with its wooden spaceship and reluctant astronauts as the feuding nations of Posra and Grabist, on the world of the Great Speck (.01mm long), both discover a promising New Speck approaching Great Speck-space. Their leaders force astronomers Gwimper and Winceparslie to invent inter-speck craft for the purpose of exploiting the new world. Of course things go wrong, but all works out in the end (apart from the stone crabs being inedible). This story gets extra points for introducing the expletive phrase "wootling mousesherters".

Father Christmas Goes to Work at the Zoo is an early take on the idea of an anthropomorphic personification needing to seek out a day job (this one in Blackbury!). The Big Race, a parody of those great-race parody films, gives us a first glimpse of Pratchett's long love affair with steam power. The Great Egg-dancing Championship is Romeo and Juliet with hints of Rocky and old-fashioned movie chase scenes – and eggs, naturally.

Rounding out the collection are The Blackbury Monster, an account of municipal ambition with a twist ending; Hunt the Snorry, a cautionary tale about not placing too much trust in rumours (or perhaps just a cutely daft tale of incompetent explorers); Dok the Caveman, in which we meet a sort of prehistoric Leonard da Quirm who invents all manner of anachronistic not-yet-useful things (including language and cookery); and Hercules the Tortoise, possibly the only story in the entire collection that reads like it was written to be read to young children, but after all, that was what all of these stories were meant to be!

My personal favourite is probably The 59A Bus Goes Back in Time, a curious and thoroughly fun story about a bus that, yes, goes back in time, in fact goes to a number of times including the Britannic era: "Soon the 59A – or rather, Mechanical Elephant LIXA – was bowling down the Roman road, filled with centurions all as pleased as puppies with their first bus ride."

Dragons at Crumbling Castle is a good, fun read all the way through. Get it for your children or young relations and read it aloud – they will surely enjoy it. Or try it for yourselves... perhaps at bedtime.

Recommended!

[1] Feel free to interpret that as Ogglishly as you wish
[2] Possibly pineapple, in this case


4.2 ALL THE WAY TO ZEMPHIS: AN APPRECIATION OF MRS BRADSHAW'S HANDBOOK

By Annie Mac

A notice to residents of Ankh-Morpork and The Continent:

*Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook to Travelling upon the Ankh-Morpork and Sto Plains Hygienic Railway is a superb traveller's compendium, offering 143 fully illustrated pages of route overviews, amusing facts and vital geographic and cultural information for persons of any species who wish to travel on this marvellous railway. Quirm College alumna Mrs Georgina Bradshaw, a genteel widowed lady of upstanding character whose fine copperplate handwriting is beautifully reproduced by the famed publishing house of Messrs Goatberger, has compiled a considerable list of "places of accommodation and refreshment", plus local market days, holidays, attractions and assorted comments about what each place is most famous – or infamous – for. Whether you are travelling on business, planning a holiday "away", or simply a steam enthusiast wanting to explore the delights of the most fragrant of Lord King's many enterprises, you will find "the Bradshaw" indispensable! Copies can be purchased from Goatberger's factory shop in Brewer Street, Isle of Gods, Ankh-Morpork for a reasonable price. Be sure to place your order now!*

...and for those of us less fortunates who reside on Roundworld:

What an amazing little gem this is!

Remember how lyrical I waxed about The Compleat Ankh-Morpork in that Wossname review a couple of years ago? Well, Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook is a smaller work, but it's no less of a triumph. From its antique-looking, gold(ish)-embossed cover to its wealth of illustrations and "reproduced" handwritten correspondence, Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook is a worthy addition to the smaller Disc books collection. Connoisseurs of Discworld ancillaries will no doubt find the look of it familiar, as it is Pterry-plus-Team Artificer effort bearing the distinctive style of the Discworld Emporium aka Isobel and Bernard Pearson, Reb Voyce and Ian Mitchell, with the added bonus of some fantastic Peter Dennis artwork. Dennis' contributions, including a lovely portrait of Mrs Bradshaw herself, carry on the conceptual theme of his "Ankh-Morpork meets the Age of Industry" illustrations that graced The World of Poo. All members of the team have done themselves proud, and the text is no less enchanting than the illustrations; I was delighted to see so many towns and districts, familiar to us from Discworld novels over the years, fleshed out and given distinct personalities (and if ever a somewhere could have a personality, that somewhere would surely be on the Disc) to add to what were once mere names on a map... or Mapp.

Mrs Bradshaw's journey on the Unnamed Continent's first steam-driven railway begins at the vast, teeming New Ankh Station, a "fine building with a grand facade and a large entrance hall where greenish light filters through the great stained-glass windows of the front elevation" and ends in the moutainous wilds of Ohulan Cutash, gateway to the Ramtops and home of all-weather-wear purveyor Orac Oracsson, clothier of choice for the Disc's new breed of trainspotters ("You can depend on an Orac", as their pune-y advert tells us). Along the way readers will encounter

Chapter 1 provides extensive information on the nuts, bolts and how-tos of Discly rail travel. Chapter 2 explores the route from Ankh-Morpork to Quirm, and subsequent chapters take us onwards along the coast, across the Sto Plains, up to Zemphis on the Altiplano Express, and finally to the current terminus of the "A-M&SPHR". Along the way we are treated to commentaries on the capacities, services and general quality of hotels and inns, the locations of clacks and post offices, and descriptions of the landscape, architecture and denizens, that is, residents of towns and cities (and city-states) including Quirm, Shankydoodle, Scrote, Upunder, Big Cabbage, all three Sto's, Little Swelling, High Mouldering, Great Slack, Much Come Lately, Upper, Lower and Middle Feltwhistle, fustic Wells, Zemphis, and of course Twoshirts. We can only hope that a later, updated Bradshaw will be published when the railway once again reaches Uberwald.

There is no question that the coming of rail travel will change the sleepy world we long-time readers once knew and loved, but this is not a bad thing – because it amply demonstrates one of Pratchett's great strengths as a fantasist, namely those touches of under-the-bonnet realism he's always brought to the Discworld. Most fantasy writers give us sweeping wars, royal romances and political intrigues but fail to mention the unfortunates who have to clean the blood off rune-engraved leather jerkins or to search far and wide for a seller of armour polish; Pratchett gives us all the drama, romance and intrigue but adds in genuine sweat, laundry workers, petty bureaucrats and disgruntled shopkeepers... and genuine progress. Things *change*, often in the space of a lifetime or even in the space of a few Disc years. And if that seems unlikely to you, just think about the changes the internet has brought to our own world.

Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook is a definite must-have. Highly recommended. Put it on your Hogswatch list now!

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05) DISCWORLD PLAYS NEWS

5.1 WYRD SISTERS IN TORONTO: POSTPONED

"Unfortunately, due to a combination of several personal emergencies among the cast, we have sadly decided to postpone our production of Terry Pratchett's Wyrd Sisters." – Liz Bragg, Artistic Director of the Socratic Theatre Collective

The production was due to run from the 31st of October to the 9th of November. Wossname will update with a rescheduled dates as soon as aailable.

For more information, go to:

https://www.facebook.com/socratictheatre


5.2 TAMAHER IN BRISBANE: ONE MORE SHOW!

The Brisbane Arts Theatre finish their season of the wonderful Matthew Holmes musical adaptation of The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents with a final matinee performance this coming Saturday.

When: Saturday 1st November 2014
Venue: Brisbane Arts Theatre, 210 Petrie Terrace, Brisbane, Queensland 4000 Phone (07) 3369 2344
Time: 2pm
Tickets: $16; Group (10+) $13, Gold Members $6.50, Members $13. Families with family membership can redeem their included season tickets for this show.

To order online, go to http://bit.ly/1ppEGyw

http://www.artstheatre.com.au/


5.3 REMINDER: GUARDS! GUARDS! IN WILTSHIRE

The Wharf Theatre are currently presenting their production of Guards! Guards!, which will finish its run this weekend.

When: through 1st November 2014
Venue: Wharf Theatre, The Wharf, Devizes, Wiltshire SN10 1EB
Time: 7:30pm
Tickets: £9/£8 from Devizes Books, Handel House, Sidmouth Street, Devizes, SN10 1LD and 01380 725944.

http://www.wharftheatre.co.uk/


5.4 NEW: CARPE JUGULUM IN GUISBOROUGH, YORKSHIRE

Guisborough Theatre Company will be presenting their production of Carpe Jugulum in early November. The large cast looks good and enthusiastic!

When: Thursday 6th, Friday 7th, Saturday 8th November
Venue: St.Nicholas Church Hall, Bow Street, Guisborough, TS14 6BP
Tine: 7.30pm all shows
Tickets: £6, available from The Guisborough Bookshop (4 Chaloner Street, Guisborough, Cleveland TS14 6QD), or on the door; or to purchase online, go to:
http://www.guisboroughtheatreclub.org.uk/tickets2.html

http://www.guisboroughtheatreclub.org.uk/


5.5 NEW: WYRD SISTERS IN DICKINSON, TEXAS

Bay Area Harbour Playhouse are presenting their production of Wyrd Sisters in October and November. The opening night features a special seasonally appropriate offer:

"Dress as a witch Halloween night, Oct. 31, and head for the Bay Area Harbour Playhouse in Dickinson – witches get in free for the opening night performance of 'Wyrd Sisters' at 8 pm. It promises to be a delightful evening for everyone – for the witches plus others not in costume who will purchase their admission..."

http://bit.ly/1xxZGHH

When: 31st October–23rd November 2014
Venue: Harbour Playhouse, 3803 Highway #3, Dickinson, TX
Time: Friday and Saturday at 8 pm and Sunday at 2:30 pm.
Tickets: Adults $17. Seniors and Students $12. Children (12 and under) $6. Groups of 10 or more $2 off.

Call 281-337-7469 for ticket reservations or more information.

http://www.harbourplayhouse.com/


5.6 NEW: MORT IN INVERELL, FOURECKS

"Beaulieu Hall will be lit up again as the revived Inverell Theatre Company invites the community to enjoy their coming fantastical production of Mort, a play adapted by Stephen Briggs from the popular Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett... It is 16-year-old Brendan Evans' first production since the Inverell High School musical Fame earlier this year. He said he is getting comfortable with his role as the lead character, Mort..."

When: Thursday and Friday, 30th and 31st October, and Thursday through Saturday, 6th–8th November
Venue: Beaulieu Hall, Copeton Dam Road, Inverell, New South Wales
Time: 7.30pm
Tickets: $15 (concession price of $10 is available on 30th October). Supper is a gold coin donation. Tickets can be purchased at the Inverell Tourism Centre (phone 6728 816)

http://bit.ly/1tB6s08


5.7 REMINDER: WYRD SISTERS IN CARDIFF

After their successful presentation of Monstrous Regiment, Monstrous Productions are back with another Discworld goodie: Wyrd Sisters! "Check us out on the official Terry Pratchett website! Not long to go now and less than 2 weeks before we announce our premiere and open audition applications! Lovely to see that so many of our regulars have already bought their tickets, it means a lot to us that you keep coming back- we must be doing something right!"

When: 5th – 8th November 2014
Venue: the Gate Arts Centre, Keppoch St, Cardiff
Time: 7pm-10.30pm all shows
Tickets: £8 (£6 concessions). To purchase online, go to:

http://7889269b08cd.fikket.com/

or email monstrousproductions2012@gmail.com

Remember, all profits from Monstrous Productions plays and merchandise go to Alzheimer's Research UK. In fact, they exist solely to perform Pratchett plays for this very purpose!

http://www.monstrousptc.com/
http://www.thegate.org.uk/


5.8 REMINDER: WYRD SISTERS IN SOUTHEND

"East Essex Players, who have recently celebrated their 50th anniversary, have decided to break away from their usual Earth based comedies to take on the fantasy of Pratchett's Discworld. 'We have performed a variety of comedy genres from Noel Coward's Blithe Spirit, to episodes of Fawlty Towers' says East Essex Players chairman Hazel Latcham, 'We are now looking forward to the challenge of a fantasy comedy that has a cult status.'"

When: 12th – 15th November 2014
Venue: Dixon Studio, Palace Theatre, 430 London Road, Westcliff-on-Sea SS0 9LA
Time: TBA
Tickets: £11.50, £10.50. A £1.50 per ticket booking fee applies, capped at four per order. Groups of 10+ please call 01702 351135 to buy fee-free.
Box Office: 01702 351135. To buy online, go to link below and click on the button for the desired date:

http://tinyurl.com/qat2s74

For more information, go to:

http://www.eastessexplayers.co.uk/


5.9 WYRD SISTERS IN WEST SUSSEX

Stage-Door Theatre Company, having already tackled the Scottish Play some eleven years ago, will tackle the Disc-ish Play – Wyrd Sisters – this December.

When: 10th-13th December 2014
Venue: The Windmill Theatre, The Green, Littlehampton, West Sussex BN17 5LM
Time 7:30pm for evening performances, 2:30pm for the Saturday (13th) matinee
Tickets: £11 (concessions at £10). Please contact the box office at the Circle of Health, 67 Sea Lane, Rustington, West Sussex BN16 2RQ (telephone 01903 856801) for all ticket enquiries.

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06) DISCWORLD CONVENTION NEWS

6.1 AUSDWCON (NULLUS ANXIETAS V) UPDATES

"Are you the next Buddy? Are you on a mission from Glod? Are you going to be The Next Big Thing? Would you like to entertain the guests at the Gala Dinner? If this sounds like something you or someone you know would be interested in, please send your details to galadinner@ausdwcon.org. Do us a deal that's cutting your own throat!"

http://ausdwcon.org/blog/music-with-rocks-in-at-the-night-of-1000-stars/

"There's A Special Place At Nullus Anxietas V For YOU. Nanny Ogg, Events Mistress for Nullus Anxietas V has placed a couple of casting calls for events at NAV:

I'm looking for a volunteer to organise and run the Lyrical Literature event. This is where the compere gives brave souls a song and a passage from a Discworld book to sing to the song tune. The audience then have to decide what the song is and possibly, if we want to be that sophisticated, which book the segment is from!
You will need to sort out the song titles and pieces from books and be prepared to run the event which is currently scheduled for 1-2pm on the FRIDAY.

PLEASE NOTE: this can be more than one person.

I am also looking for a volunteer to run the Chaos Costuming area. This is a place where we set up a sewing machine and provide bits of old fabric and costumes for attendees to tear up and recreate. The volunteer will need to organise and bring fabric etc, and will also need to see if they can get other people to cover shifts or at least leave the area nominally under someone's eye during the whole weekend.

Is this YOU??? If this sounds like your metier, you can respond to Nanny via the Nullus Anxietas V Forums or email enquiries@ausdwcon.org

http://ausdwcon.org/blog/casting-call/

REMEMBER! Nullus Anxietas V takes place 10-12 April 2015 at the Novotel Parramatta, Parramatta, New South Wales, XXXX. Tickets for the convention are held at the following prices until 15th March 2015: full $180, concession/child $120 (no charge for young children), family $500 and Supporting Membership $30. To purchase advance tickets, go to:
http://ausdwcon.org/shop/tickets/

6.2 IDWCON UPDATES

It's less than a year until the next Irish Discworld Convention, but you can already book your hotel! The A-M City Watch-themed convention will be held at the Cork International Airport Hotel on 2nd–5th October 2015.

"Hotel bookings for the Watch Open Weekend have just been made available, the Times can exclusively reveal. In an interview with our correspondent, Watch spokesperson Captain Shivers acknowledged that it is now exactly one year to go until this historic Watch outreach programme. She had this to say on the subject: 'In light of reaching this important milestone, we have published details of how to book a room at our venue, the Cork International Airport Hotel, not only for the enthusiastic recruits that have already signed up, but also any potential others who may be interested in this excellent opportunity to serve alongside our great City's finest.' Capt. Shivers strongly denied any rumours that the hotel had been booked up by the Sunshine Sanctuary's annual fundraiser, and confirmed that the Watch Open Day would go ahead on the 2nd-5th of October next year. More reports to follow as the story unfolds."

Room Costs

The special convention rate organised is:
– €75 per night for a single or double/twin room.
– €90 per night for a triple room.

"Breakfasts are optional, at a price of €10 each per person. Please specify if you'd like breakfasts when booking.
Room upgrades may also be available for an additional charge – please ask when booking if you are interested."

How to Book

The special convention rate is not available when booking through the hotel website, so please:
– Phone: (+353) 21 454 9800
– or Email: reservations@corkairporthotel.com

"Remember to quote your membership number(s), number of people for the room, dates required, and the code 'IDW conference 2015' [sic] when booking to avail yourself of the special rate."

http://idwcon.org/index.php/venue/bookingaroom.html

http://idwcon.org/index.php/news.html

Tickets ("memberships") for IDWcon are now available to pre-book at the following prices: Full Membership €50.00, Concessionary Membership €40.00, Child 12 years and under must be accompanied by an adult but are apparently uncharged. To book, and for further information, go to:

http://idwcon.org/index.php/membership/buy-membership/2015-full-membership.html/

6.3 NADWCON 2015 UPDATES

An announcement from the Guild of Seamstresses...

Updates: Programing for The Great Discworld Fan Meet At Sasquan

Greetings all,

We've been in touch with Sasquan (WorldCon 2015) about the Discworld panels we'd like to see offered there for The Great Discworld Fan Gathering at that convention. We have suggested, among others, the ever popular NADWCon panels titled "The Science of Discworld" and "The Tech of Discworld", "The Women of Discworld" and "Folklore, World Myths, Ancient Legends and The Discworld".

Are there classes, panels, events, or meets you'd like to see there, either for kids or adults? Let us know using the link noted below. We can and will suggest the names of interesting people (many of them folks you might know from previous NADWCons) for these panels and events AND we are always looking for new people who can add to our sum of Discworld knowledge. So don't be shy, step up and offer your skills.

Over the next few months we will be working closely with the Chair of Events and the Chair of Programming for Sasquan. We will gather names and recommend folks for *every* Discworld panel and event until May 1st, 2015 (which is the programming cut off date). If you wish to be included on a panel - or want to suggest some good ideas – please use the Sasquan Program Idea form.

SASQUAN PROGRAM IDEA FORM:

Have an idea for Events or Program? Drop us an E-mail. We’re eager to hear what you've liked at conventions. Worldcons are always interested in ways to innovate new kinds of Program and Events. Currently, we have panels, videos, dances, parties, workshops, contests, game shows, concerts, Masquerade, Hugo Awards Ceremony, readings, autographings... Over the last few years, a film festival and Strolling with the Stars have been added to the Worldcon schedule. Between now and September 1, 2014, we’d like to get con attendees to think a little about new types of Program or Events we could add. We're also looking for new topics and panelists for Program, and can take topic/panelist suggestions until May 1, 2015. This idea form can help you reflect on what you've liked about recent conventions, and what you’d like to see Sasquan try to do in 2015.

TO FILL OUT THIS FORM, PLEASE GO TO THIS LINK:

http://sasquan.org/program/idea-form/

http://it-bodes.blogspot.com.au/2014/08/programing-for-great-discworld-fan-meet.html

6.4 2015 GERMAN DISCWORLD CONVENTION UPDATES

"The biennial Discworld Convention takes place at a castle in a German speaking country. The next Convention will be 10.09. – 13.09.2015 at Burg Ludwigstein. During this period we offer our more than 200 guests workshops, talks, games, guests of honour and Discworld merchandising normally not available in Germany. You can visit us for a day or stay at the castle or a hotel nearby."

Registration is now open! "We reduced the number of bookable packages. As always there will be a special price for members of the Ankh-Morpork e.V.. Early bookers who finish their ticket order till December, the 31st 2014 will receive a free 5 € Convention prepaid card when arriving at the castle!

"If you would like to participate by organizing a workshop or giving a talk please contact us at Orga@Scheibenwelt-Convention.de."

To order tickets, go to:

http://www.discworld-convention.de/viewpage.php?page_id=8

http://www.scheibenwelt-convention.de/
https://www.facebook.com/ScheibenweltConvention

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07) DISCWORLD MEETING GROUPS NEWS

The Broken Drummers, "London's Premier Unofficially Official Discworld Group" (motto "Nil percussio est"), meets on the first Monday of every month at the Monkey Puzzle, 30 Southwick Street, London W2 1JQ: "We welcome anyone and everyone who enjoys Sir Terry's works, or quite likes them or wants to find out more. We have had many visitors from overseas who have enjoyed themselves and made new friends. The discussions do not only concern the works of Sir Terry Pratchett but wander and meander through other genres and authors and also leaping to TV and Film production. We also find time for a quiz. The prize is superb. The chance to set the quiz the following month."

Next meeting: Monday 3rd November 2014, from 7pm onwards.

The Drummers' October meet report:

"We had a great meeting last night. There were four new members and a lot of the regulars. First new person to arrive was Cecilia, who lives locally. Next was Richard, who was visiting from France. Shortly after Robin arrived. He came all the way from a remote part of Australia, where there are no Pratchett fans at all. Finally James B. arrived later on and, as promised, brought his new wife Christina. She showed us all the wedding photos including cute spider and cat cakes.

"I had a lot of discussion with Richard and Robin about Discworld movies, diaries and other memorabilia that is not easy to get abroad. Robin was overwhelmed by the geekiness and made nervous by the fact that he got all the references.
There was no quiz as Mark wasn't there but I did bring a prize since we have been sorting out our stuff. Alex G. was declared winner because he was the only person who wanted a Darth Vader model, which contained shower gel. The meeting ended with a lot of us quoting Blackadder.We walked back to Paddington Station with Alex and later spotted him on the opposite platform cuddling and caressing Darth Vader."

For more information, go to http://brokendrummers.org/ or email BrokenDrummers@gmail.com or nicholls.helen@yahoo.co.uk

*

The Pratchett Partisans are a new fan group who meet monthly at either Brisbane or Indooroopilly to "eat, drink and chat about all things Pratchett". For more info about their next meetup, go to http://www.meetup.com/Pratchett-Partisans/ or contact Ula directly at uwilmott@yahoo.com.au

*

The City of Small Gods is a group for fans in Adelaide and South Australia: "We have regular monthly dinner and games nights, longer games days, plus play outings, craft-y workshops, and fun social activities throughout the year. For more info and to join our mailing list, visit http://cityofsmallgods.org.au "

*

The Broken Vectis Drummers meet on the first Thursday of every month from 7.30pm at The Castle pub in Newport, Isle of Wight.

Next meeting: Thursday 6th November 2014, probably, but do email to check.

All new members and curious passersby are very welcome! For more info and any queries, contact broken_vectis_drummers@yahoo.co.uk

*

The Wincanton Omnian Temperance Society (WOTS) meets on the first Friday of every month at Wincanton's famous Bear Inn from 7pm onwards. "Visitors and drop-ins are always welcome!"

Next meeting: Friday 7th November 2014 (probably).

*

The Northern Institute of the Ankh-Morpork and District Society of Flatalists, a Pratchett fangroup, has been meeting on a regular basis since 2005 but is now looking to take in some new blood (presumably not in the non-reformed Uberwald manner). The Flatalists normally meet at The Narrowboat Pub in Victoria Street, Skipton, North Yorkshire, to discuss "all things Pratchett" as well as having quizzes and raffles.

Details of future meetings are posted on the Events section of the Discworld Stamps forum:

http://www.discworldstamps.co.uk/forum/

*

Sydney Drummers (formerly Drummers Downunder) meet on the first Monday of every month in Sydney at 3 Wise Monkeys, 555 George Street, Sydney,2000.

Next meeting: Monday 3rd November 2014 at 6.30pm (probably). For more information, contact Sue (aka Granny Weatherwax): kenworthys@yahoo.co.uk

*

The Treacle Mining Corporation, formerly known as Perth Drummers, meet on the first Monday of the month (subject to holidays) at the child-friendly Carpe Cafe, 526 Murray Street, Perth, Western Australia.

Next meeting: from 5.30pm on Monday 3rd November 2014 (probably).

For details follow Perth Drummers on Twitter @Perth_Drummers and Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/Perth.Drummers/ – otherwise message Alexandra Ware directly at <alexandra.ware@gmail.com>

*

Western Drummers, also based in Sydney, meet at The Rowers, Nepean Rowing Club, Bruce Neal Drive, Penrith at 6.30-7.30pm for food, 7.30pm for games, quizzes and chat: "If you have never been, please come on down. You would be very welcome. We eat, have a drink, talk Discworld and play board games. Starts kind of 6 – 6.30ish and finishes kind of 9pm ish."

Next meeting: as there was a meeting last week, the next will probably be in mid-November. For more information, contact Nanny Ogg – lewis_oz@bigpond.com – or visit their Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/westerndrummers

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08) DISCWORLD ARTS AND CRAFTS NEWS

8.1 DISCWORLD EMPORIUM UPDATES

1a. Train time!

"Mrs Bradshaw, if you were to go everywhere where the trains go and write about all those places, perhaps you could send me a copy of your notes? They could be useful to other intrepid passengers..." – Moist Von Lipwig, in Terry Pratchett's Raising Steam

"At long last Raising Steam is released in the UK in glorious paperback this week, with new cover artwork by Paul Kidby depicting Iron Girder with her industrious crew. Also published on October 9th is Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook; an invaluable and fully illustrated guide to Discworld's premier railway created at the behest of Most Von Lipwig and published by Ankh-Morpork's esteemed printer Thomas Goatberger.

"To coincide with the release of these fine Pratchett publications, we're offering a limited edition collector's pack including exclusive notes from Mrs Georgina Bradshaw herself along with souvenirs and ephemera from her journey on the A-M and Sto Plains Railway. Each pack includes four pages of jottings detailing two locations that didn't make it into Goatberger's final edit of her famous handbook. Also included are two beautifully illustrated postcards from Sto Lat and Brassica World, and an 'I love Big Cabbage' sticker ready to decorate your own luggage. Each set is presented in an illustrated envelope addressed to Moist Von Lipwig, and featuring a new Discworld postage stamp from The Chalk (Discworld Stamp collectors may wish to note that this new issue will be available for general release very soon. – more information coming soon).

"EMPORIUM EXCLUSIVE – Own a share in the Ankh-Morpork and Sto Plains Railway Company, with an official share certificate – free with every copy of Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook!"

Raising Steam paperback, priced at £7.99: http://bit.ly/1wcMZCO
Collector's pack, priced at £12.50: http://bit.ly/1y4qqAx
Mrs Bradshaw's Guide plus railway share, priced at £12.99: http://bit.ly/1sVYHlb

And here be the banner for these offers, showing the lovely Mrs Bradshaw herself:

http://bit.ly/1ppirsx

Also available: A Slip of the Keyboard, hardback, priced at £20.00: http://bit.ly/1DnkyW1

"Choo! Choo!"

To view these offers on one webpage, go to http://www.discworldemporium.com/index.php


1b. "Putting the 'Ook into spooky this Halloween"

"Grim Reapers, Igors, vampires, werewolves, witches, wizards, zombies... for Halloween inspiration you couldn't draw from a richer well than Discworld! If you're planning a Pratchett-inspired outfit or carving a pumpkin into the shape of Nanny Ogg we'd like to see it – send pictorial evidence of your efforts to us via shop@discworldemporium.com or via Facebook by Nov 2nd and we'll pick our favourite – the winner will receive our new Unseen University Diploma in Indefinite Studies, and will be announced on our Facebook page on Nov 3rd!"

To visit or post on the Discworld Emporium Facebook page, go to:

http://bit.ly/1wgCKfE

"And now for some suitably spellbinding new Discworld merchandise...

"Available now is our aforementioned addition to our range of Unseen University diplomas! Become Master of Indefinite Studies today, or choose from five other subjects from Discworld's most extraordinary educational establishment – a magical gift for any Terry Pratchett devotee or aspiring wizard! Each diploma is accompanied by a bronze octogram – affixed to a keychain for safekeeping – and a Graduate Declaration certificate to ensure that alumni leave Ankh-Morpork's foremost seat of learning with their education and university apparatus in a satisfactory state."

Available diplomas include Indefinite Studies (new!), Vindictive Astronomy, Creative Uncertainty, Cruel and Unusual Geography, Inadvisably Applied Magic and Post-Mortem Communications.

UU Graduation Set, priced at £12.50: http://bit.ly/1ppohKi

"The gods play games with the fates of men... now YOU can play games with the dice box of the gods! As passed around the deities of Cori Celesti, this delightfully macabre shaker has a rather satisfying rattle; so you can strike the fear of god(s) into your opponents while rolling them bones! Our version has been scaled down to fit comfortably into puny mortal hands and is accompanied by a pair of 12mm dice – a divine accompaniment to your Discworld board games! Sculpted by Bernard Pearson and hand-cast in resin, each dice box measures approx. 120 x 100 mm and is presented in a cotton pouch."

The Gods' Dice Box, priced at £25.00: http://bit.ly/11Nyb3h

"The third issue in the 'Wonders of the World' minisheet collection from Discworld Stamps is now available. Celebrating the Great Troll Bridge of Tübz. Each miniature stamp sheet features an illustration by Peter Dennis, and is accompanied by an informative (and not to mention decorative) postcard."

THE GREAT TROLL BRIDGE OF TÜBZ MINISHEET, priced at £5.00: http://bit.ly/1ohqOeJ

"HOGSWATCH NEWS! Tickets are now on sale for our traditional Sausage Supper at Hogswatch 2014 are now on sale – join us for our communal feasting of pork products at 7:30pm Saturday 29th November – limited spaces available! Meal ticket holders will enjoy a course of sausages from our local butcher, a generous dollop of mash and seasonal veg, followed by a traditional pudding in the name of Discworld. Your Meal Ticket will be available for collection in person from the Emporium counter from Hogswatch eve Friday 28th November, and will be marked with your designated Eating House. Please note that Meal Tickets will not be posted – so ignore our delivery information in your email confirmations. **Please do not order if you have any special dietary requirements, or a dislike of sausages** – Due to the unique pressures of Hogswatch we are unfortunately unable to cater for special requirements this year. If you require an alternative meal, don't despair – there are plentiful other dining opportunities in the town along with extensive bar food menus at our pubs. If you have allergies or intolerances our wonderful pubs may also be happy to accommodate your own grub by pre-arrangement."

Choices are Named Meats Sausage Supper priced at £10.99, Vegetarian Sausage Supper priced at £10.99, or Children's Sausage Supper priced at £4.99: http://bit.ly/1sZtCx8

"Stay 'orrible!"

To view these offers on one webpage, go to http://bit.ly/1nuWrR7


1c. "Atumnal Discworld goodies ahoy!"

Autumn evenings are best done 'deluxe', so draw the curtains, pour yourself a tipple, throw another Victorian orphan on the fire and wrap yourself in the words of the master while surrounded by some suitably luxurious Discworld merchandise...

"With Dragons at Crumbling Castle you can while away the hours with dragons, dinosaurs, cavemen and wizards. This limited edition slipcase version includes a special foreword by Terry Pratchett, bonus content and an exclusive print of Sir Terry himself in shining armour.

"To set the mood for the oncoming winter, what better than a deluxe edition of Wintersmith, a folk-rock collaboration from mutual fans Steeleye Span and Terry Pratchett. This double CD album features four brand new songs, eight live tracks from the Wintersmith Tour and two exclusive demo versions!

"Continuing the Tiffany Aching theme, the latest Little Brown Envelope from Discworld Stamps has arrived! The Chalk and Cheese 'LBE' contains an assortment of Discworld Stamps with the chance of sports & rarities, along with the first ever stamp from The Chalk – a charming little farthing issue depicting the rolling hills and woolly 'ships' of home. In contrast, each LBE also includes a new penny stamp from Ankh-Morpork's good-time guild – the upstanding Guild of Seamstresses. Both new stamps are also available singly and in beautiful whole sheets. Find then in the New Stamps bit of our site!

"Hogswatch is approaching fast and with our festive gathering here in Wincanton at the end of November we're pleased to announce our limited Hogswatch 2014 Medal of Honour – exclusive to our fearless and foolhardy Hogswatch attendees – is now available to pre-order Don't miss out! – order yours today and show the world you were there!

"Don't forget – tickets are now on sale for our traditional Sausage Supper at Hogswatch 2014 are now on sale and selling fast – join us for our communal feasting of pork products at 7:30pm Saturday 29th November – limited spaces available!

www.discworldemporium.com/Hogswatch%20Sausage%20Supper

Dragons at Crumbling Castle deluxe slipcased edition, priced at £25.00:
www.discworldemporium.com/Dragons%20at%20Crumbling%20Castle%20Deluxe

Wintersmith deluxe double CD album "Features Maddy Prior, the voice of Steeleye for 40 years at the helm of the line-up, with band stalwart and fiddler extraordinaire Peter Knight, Rick Kemp on bass, Peter Zorn and Julian Littman on Guitars and Liam Genockey on the drum stool, With special guests Terry Pratchett, Kathryn Tickell and John Spiers", and is priced at £15.00:
http://www.discworldemporium.com/Steeleye%20Span%20Wintersmith

Chalk and Cheese LBE, priced at £5.00:
www.discworldemporium.com/Chalk%20and%20Cheese%20LBE

Chalk Farthing stamp, priced at £0.50 each or £4.50 for a sheet of 9:
http://www.discworldemporium.com/Chalk%20Stamp

Guild of Seamstresses 1p stamp, priced at £0.60 each or £12.00 for a sheet of 20:
http://www.discworldemporium.com/Seamstress%201p

The New Stamps page:
http://www.discworldemporium.com/discworld-stamps/new%20stamps

To view these offers on one webpage, go to http://bit.ly/1wMj6Mp


8.2 THE DISCWORLD COLLECTORS ARCHIVE NEEDS YOUR SUPPORT

The Archive "of Discworld Merchandise, (Clarecraft, Bernard Pearson,PJSM , Paul Kidby, Mark Ayling, Discworld Emporium, Cunning Artificer, Waxworks etc) is looking for "likes":

"One of our posts reached 716 people this week... WOWsers!!! not bad for a page with only 376 Likes!!! Keep sharing the amazing works of the craftsmen(and women) who have made this wonderful stuff and encourage peeps to "Like" the page ... would love to hit 500 Likes before Hogswatch!"

https://www.facebook.com/DiscworldCollectorsArchive

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09) DISCWORLD LEGO WANTS YOU!

Remember the Discworld Lego project? It's now much, much closer to the 10,000 supporters needed for Lego to release a new official set... over 7,000 supporters have now registered their interest!

In June of this year, when the project had garnered over 5,000 supporters, Lego sent an official – and very encouraging – message:

"The great Great A'Tuin never looked so good. With this project, fans can now decide where his path through the cosmos will lead, be they followers of the Steady State Theory, the Steady Gait Theory, or even, the Big Bang Theory! We love that you've included so much information about this project, and have really worked to inspire a passionate fan base. Stay focused on your goal, you're more than halfway there. Keep on journeying to 10,000 supporters!"

Want to be part of the Discworld Lego True Believers? Off you go, then, to

https://ideas.lego.com/projects/36302

And here be an updated Granny Weatherwax vignette:

https://ideas.lego.com/projects/36302/updates

And a Tiffany Aching set proposal:

https://ideas.lego.com/projects/57284

[Editor's note: good work for the most part, but Tiffany's "sheep" look disturbingly like Doctor Who's robot dog K-9...]

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10) ROUNDWORLD TALES: WITCHES, POSTMEN, AND BEER

10.1 WHY A HAG LOOKS LIKE A RIGHT HAG

In a report for BBC Culture, Alastair Sooke investigates the provenance of our modern images of witches:

"Ask any Western child to draw a witch, and the chances are that he or she will come up with something familiar: most likely a hook-nosed hag wearing a pointy hat, riding a broomstick or stirring a cauldron. But where did this image come from? The answer is more arresting and complex than you might think... Witches have a long and elaborate history. Their forerunners appear in the Bible, in the story of King Saul consulting the so-called Witch of Endor. They also crop up in the classical era in the form of winged harpies and screech-owl-like 'strixes' – frightening flying creatures that fed on the flesh of babies. Circe, the enchantress from Greek mythology, was a sort of witch, able to transform her enemies into swine. So was her niece Medea. The ancient world, then, was responsible for establishing a number of tropes that later centuries would come to associate with witches.

"Yet it wasn't until the early Renaissance that our modern perception of the witch was truly formed. And one man of the period arguably did more than any other to define the way that we still imagine witches today: the German painter and printmaker Albrecht Durer. In a pair of hugely influential engravings, Durer determined what would become the dual stereotype of a witch's appearance. On the one hand, as in The Four Witches (1497), she could be young, nubile and lissom – her physical charms capable of enthralling men. On the other, as in Witch Riding Backwards on a Goat (c 1500), she could be old and hideous. The latter print presents a naked crone sitting on top of a horned goat, a symbol of the devil. She has withered, drooping dugs for breasts, her mouth is open as she shrieks spells and imprecations, and her wild, wind-blasted hair streams unnaturally in the direction of her travel (a sign of her magical powers). She is even clutching a broomstick. Here is the matriarch of the witches that we find in popular culture today..."

Sooke further notes that Durer may well have been inspired by an 15th-century artist, Andrea Mantegna, who portrayed Envy in "an extraordinarily intense Italian print known as Lo Stregozzo (The Witch's Procession) (c 1520). Here, a malevolent witch with open mouth, hair in turmoil and desiccated dugs clutches a steaming pot (or cauldron), and rides a fantastical, monstrous skeleton. Her right hand reaches for the head of a baby from the heap of infants at her feet..."

And then there was Francisco Goya and Henry Fuseli, with their fantastical portrayals of witches: "Plate 68 of [Goya's] Los Caprichos is especially memorable: a wizened hag teaches an attractive younger witch how to fly a broomstick. Both are naked, and the print was surely meant to be salacious: the Spanish 'volar' (to fly) is slang for having an orgasm... The Swiss-born artist Henry Fuseli, for instance, made several versions of the famous moment when Macbeth meets the three witches for the first time on the heath..."

http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20140925-where-do-witches-come-from

10.2 THE REAL MISTER GROAT?

If only New York postman Joseph Brucato had realised the letters wanted to be delivered...

"A New York postman hoarded as many as 40,000 pieces of undelivered mail in his home, car and work locker over nine years, prosecutors have said... Postal investigators subsequently found 2,500lb (1.1 tonnes) of mail dated as far back as 2005. Mr Brucato's lawyer said in court his client suffered from depression. But the lawyer did not give a reason why Mr Brucato had allegedly taken the letters... According to court records, Mr Brucato became a postman in 2001 and had been assigned a regular route in the New York borough of Brooklyn for the past 11 years. When confronted by postal investigators about the undelivered mail in his vehicle, Mr Brucato said he had been keeping mail there for six months and 'on some days... did not deliver the mail intended for his route for various personal reasons', according to a federal criminal complaint. A search of Mr Brucato's residence, vehicle and locker at work found even more mail that investigators said was post marked as early as 2005..."

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-29387236

10.3 A MIGHTY FLOOD... OF BEER

The London Beer Flood of 1814 was an event in Roundworld history, but can't you just see this happening in Ankh-Morpork?
In separate articles, London historian Mike Paterson and beer historian Martyn Cornell offer an in-depth look into the Great Beer Flood and the Horseshoe (Meux) Brewery's history.

"...this rather bizarre industrial disaster that occurred near what is now the Dominion Theatre on 17 October 1814. Back then, London's drinking classes were supplied by dozens of competing breweries dotted around the capital and its outskirts. The competition between some of these manifested itself by their building ever bigger vats. Prior to going into commission, the brew-houses, as PR stunts, would typically use these massive containers to host big swanky dinners for the directors and their guests..."

At about six o'clock on the evening of the 17th, one of the steel bands restraining the huge vat, with its a capacity of over a million pints, burst, starting a liquid chain reaction: "The force of the escaping beer, and flying debris, including the huge staves of the collapsing vat, smashed several hogsheads of porter in the storehouse and knocked the cock out of another large vat in the cellar below which contained 2,100 barrels of beer, all of which except 800 or 900 barrels joined the flood..." and then "The tsunami of beer smashed down the brewery wall, destroyed immediately two houses and severely damaged many others plus the Tavistock Arms. The beer then flooded the basement rooms of numerous adjacent buildings. A huge throng immediately assembled many of whom had the presence of mind to harvest beer in pots, pans, teapots, jars, bottles – anything that came to hand..."

Eight people – Ann Saville, Eleanor Cooper, Elizabeth Smith, Sarah Bates, Catharine Butler, Mary Mulvey, the infant Thomas Murry and the child Hannah Banfield – lost their lives, and there were many additional injuries:

"As the huge wave of beer, at least 15 feet high, roared down the street it flooded cellars, knocked in the backs of houses and washed people from first-floor rooms. One little girl, Hannah Banfield, aged four, was taking tea with her mother Mary, a coalheaver's wife, in an upstairs room of one of the New Street houses when the vat collapsed. When the torrent of porter rushed in, Hannah was swept from the room through a partition and killed, while her mother was washed out of the window and badly injured and another child in the room 'nearly suffocated'... Houses in Great Russell Street, including the Tavistock Arms pub at number 22, that backed on to New Street had their cellars and ground floors filled with beer and their backs badly damaged. Those living in the cellars had to climb up on top of their highest pieces of furniture to save themselves from drowning in porter. At the Tavistock Arms, where beer had washed right through the taproom and into the street outside, pouring into the "areas" (basement entrances) of the houses opposite, part of the back wall collapsed on top of one of the pub servants, Eleanor Cooper, aged 14, who was at the pump in the yard, scouring pots. She was dug out of the ruins nearly three hours later, still standing upright, but dead..."

The smell of stale beer apparently lingered on in the area for many months.

It would seem that inappropriately comical accidents happened more than once there, as when one owner, John Stephenson Jnr, came to an unfortunate end:

"By 1792 the brewery was in the hands of John Stephenson. He was the 'natural' son of another John Stephenson, a wealthy London merchant, originally from Cumberland. John Stephenson senior, whose uncle was at one time Lord Mayor of London, was an MP for more than 30 years from 1761 until his death at his home in Bedford Square in April 1794, aged 84. Stephenson senior was unmarried, and left almost all his estate, which included land in Cumbria, to his son. John junior, his wife Susan and their six or seven children moved after John senior's death from nearby Charlotte Street into the rather finer house in Bedford Square, which was itself only a short walk north from the brewery... Tragically, John junior had little time to enjoy his extra wealth. Like other breweries at the time, the Horse Shoe brewery cooled the hopped wort after it was boiled by pumping it into large, shallow vessels at the top of the building, before it was run into the fermenting vessels and pitched with yeast. Around 10am on the morning of Thursday, November 13, 1794, one of the brewery workers spotted a hat swimming on top of the beer in one of the coolers. It was Stephenson's. Just a short time before he had been in the brewery "accompting house". Unnoticed, he had gone up to where the coolers were, fallen in and drowned..."

After the disaster, the Horse Shoe brewery carried on as one of London's leading porter producers for the rest of the 19th century before being absorbed into the huge Allied Breweries conglomerate.

http://bit.ly/1oSNEtt
http://bit.ly/1jR0TSh

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11) IMAGES OF THE MONTH

From Sir Pterry's Twitter feed, "An edible Iron Girder toolkit to celebrate t'publication of Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook and Raising Steam p/b. Gradely!" Gradely indeed:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bzh0glJCUAA8JfP.jpg:large

Ray Friesen's charming toon-icon of "Team G. O.", aka the Good Omens radio play gang:
http://bit.ly/1yQertw

A familiar quotation, illustrated for all to see at The Book Grocer in Morwell (Shop 37, Mid Valley Shopping Centre, Morwell, Victoria, Australia):
http://tinyurl.com/qjzmq65

...and finally, always a favourite: Sir Pterry at Secret World rescue centre in 2011, with Pauline Kidner and a hedgehog!
http://bit.ly/1w9Oin3

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12) CLOSE

And there you have it. Before closing, I'd like to share this amazing image of a library cake. There's no Librarian there, but with a bit of marzipangutan the possibilities would be endless...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bz2LljYIQAEgK2a.jpg

And speaking of libraries, Warrington Guardian columnist Jeremy Craddock offers a fine, impassioned defence of libraries, referencing Pterry and Neil Gaiman in the process. Well worth a read:

http://bit.ly/1wvP4uH

Lastly, a non-Pratchett book recommendation: Reading the OED, by Ammon Shea (Penguin|Viking, 2008). A book that is both useful and fun. And daft. Here be a quote from Chapter A: "All of the human emotions and experiences are right there in this dictionary, just as they would be in any fine work of literature. They just happen to be alphabetized."

Remember, the mirror version of this issue can be viewed at

And that's the lot for October. Happy Hogswatch, er, Halloween, um, Hogoween to all! See you next month!

– Annie Mac

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The End. If you have any questions or requests, write: wossname-owner (at) pearwood (dot) info